Down The Rabbit Hole
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer is in a world alone, with nothing left. He has to find a way to survive and find himself. Will he find the people he once cared about and become the man he's always been? Or will fate take over and ruin everything.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:  
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**Chapter 1 Summary: What if they didn't go to the plane? Kate never got shot, Sun and Jin never died in the sub. Instead they come to the decision to stay on the island. Sawyer isn't happy about it, but he goes along with it. This is actually a request from _Jesli4Life. _We have sort of been writing it together. **

They were resting again. Sawyer was sitting alone. He didn't want to be bothered. Kate wouldn't bother him. She wanted to go talk to him, but he looked too deep in thought. He _was _deep in thought. He looked over at Kate. Why the hell did she have to be so damn beautiful? She was beautiful without any of life's necessities. No hair dryer. Her hair was up off her neck. She was washing her neck with her hand. He shook his head and looked away.

His whole life was a mess. It had started when he was 8 years old hiding under his bed at his grandma's house. He never felt like he belonged anywhere. The only place he ever felt safe was with his mother, but now she was dead.

High school he rebelled. He didn't want anything to do with a structured life. School. Classes. Teachers. Tests. None of it mattered in the real world. When was he ever going to need to know the angles of an isosceles triangle. Or why was it important to know about Colonel Custer? In the real world, life experiences were way more important than that. But he found out the hard way that knowing things and graduating high school was sort of a necessity when it came to finding a job. Not that he would have ever wanted a desk job or even a job at McDonald's, but owing 10 grand to a man with a gun wasn't the way that Sawyer wanted to end his life. He was still James at this point.

He met the lady because he knew where to look. He knew where the rich folks lived. You didn't have to be a genius to find your target and start getting the plan all ready. He made sure to bump into her on the side of the street. Not just walk past her and whistle…no. He had to stay committed to this thing. He ran directly into her. Knocked her onto the ground, taking himself with it. Always a charmer. He had always been good at charming his way through life. Even when he was a kid, women would tell his grandma that he was going to be a heartbreaker. They always mentioned his dimples and his fantastic smile. Sawyer knew how to manipulate people, but especially women.

He got her. He slept with her. It certainly wasn't his first time sleeping with a woman, but it was the first time he had slept with a married woman. What was worse, was when he was laying next to her. He saw her sleeping. He spotted the ring on her finger. He felt like him…he felt like Sawyer. The man who's fault it was his parents were dead. Part of him felt sick to his stomach. He didn't love this woman. He certainly didn't want her to go home and be murdered by her husband, but he didn't love her. He was just in it for the money. His choice was simple. Leave the bed and never come back. Risk being killed by the man he owed money…or get her to give him the money he needed. After that he always introduced himself as Sawyer.

Kate was different than any other woman he had ever met. Sure he could get any gorgeous woman he wanted. That wasn't what set her aside from everyone else. It was the fact that his smile and his charms didn't seem to work on her right away. She always seemed to want to keep her distance, but there was one problem…she always seemed to find her way back to him anyway. She didn't want him. Her not wanting him, only made him want her more. He wanted to conquer her. But what was more, was when he realized that he had a pretty heavy competition in Jack. What did she even see in him? He was a do-gooder sure, but what would Kate want with him? All this mystery only made Sawyer more curious. He wanted to get to know her. He remembered telling her that he had met girls like her, but the truth was, he had no idea what kind of woman Kate was. He knew as soon as she took the gun, that she _did_ in fact know how to use it. But that was a secret that could stay between them…at least for the time being. He knew he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to give her a good hard kiss, she'd never know what hit her. After the kiss, she would only crave more. She would come back for more and want to go farther. He'd nail her before the week was out. Only it wasn't that easy. He kept forgetting about the pesky other man. The knight in shining armor. Sawyer could have started it out that way, but why lie to everyone including himself about who he was. He could con them anytime and anyplace whenever it was necessary so there was no point on being nice to anyone. But then there was a vulnerability that Sawyer hadn't anticipated. Even before their first kiss, Sawyer would notice Kate catching his eye. She felt something. He knew it, and soon so would she. Coning her for a kiss was low, even Sawyer could admit that. But they weren't going to believe him anyway. He had already burned bridges with pretty much everyone, so what was the point of even telling him that he was innocent? He had a feeling that Sayid would have stuck those bamboo shoots up his fingernails until he screamed so much and so loud that the other people would beg him to stop just so they didn't have to hear Sawyer's yells. But as luck would have it, Jack let him talk to Kate. Part of him was shocked that Jack had even allowed it. Kate talking to him all alone? Jack and Sayid could have just continued torturing him, but instead, they let Kate come. The kiss was intense. Sawyer wasn't even expecting the passion behind it. Part of it was an act. He wanted to entice her, but when he kissed her, and she actually kissed back, he found himself wanting more. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It was supposed to be the opposite.

From there everything grew. Sawyer just found himself wanting to be around her, just because. Sure she was still a conquest. He definitely wanted to see what she was like in bed. He wanted to get to her before Jack could get his hooks in her. It was just sex. But then it became something more. He read everyone's notes. Trying nonchalantly to find Kate's. She never wrote one. He suspected that Charlie didn't get to her in time. He was starting to like her. Hell he was starting to love her. But he had to push those thoughts from his mind. When he got back, he knew that he had feelings for her. Maybe a part of him even knew that he was in love with her, but he wouldn't admit it to himself. He remembered the moment that he realized that it wasn't just lust and sex he thought about around Kate…they were sitting outside his tent. Reading that incredibly inane woman's magazine. She was reading it out loud, but every so often she would read something to herself and then smile. It was more than just lust. He couldn't let himself feel anything for this girl. What was he thinking? But it was too late. And now it was too late to take back anything that he was going to do that day. He didn't want to con Kate. He didn't want to make her hate him. But he knew by the end of the day, she would.

Part of him was only trying to make himself believe it, when he told her 'good thing you don't hate me Freckles'. He hoped that she would have some kind of reaction. Instead she said nothing and walked away. He knew she was mad at him. He wasn't sure if she'd ever forgive him. But she didn't try to argue with him. That had to be a good sign right?

It was in the cage that he finally felt like he won. But by then it wasn't a competition with Jack. It was a competition with himself. He was going to hurt her. Or she maybe she didn't love him back. There were a hundred thoughts running over and over in his brain that night. It would continue throughout until they were separated. Why did Kate really sleep with him? Was it because he was going to die? Or was it because she loved him? Or maybe it was because she just really wanted to sleep with him with no strings attached. But if it was no strings attached then how come she kept coming back for more? Whether Kate would admit it or not, they had actually been in a relationship. Maybe it wasn't a boyfriend/girlfriend type of thing, but it was definitely more than just sex. Wasn't it? Or maybe it wasn't. But then why did she sleep in his arms that one night. It wasn't about sex. It was just about being together. Spending the night holding each other. Maybe he shouldn't have told her off for her lack of decision making, but he was sick of it. He was sick of always feeling like he was second best. But then when she walked through the door toward him, he always felt like maybe…just maybe she loves me the way she loves Jack.

Then she left. She was gone. He never thought he would ever feel the same again. He never actually did, but slowly, the pain of losing Kate faded. With Juliet it just started as a mutual respect. She listened to his ideas. It shocked him because it was the first time he was actually in the leadership position. When the plane first crashed he could have been the leader, but it had fallen on Jack. For Sawyer, it was Juliet who stepped up and had his back first. Miles and Dan and Charlotte, they didn't want to listen to him, but he could always count on Juliet. He was glad just to have a friend. Someone to talk to. He never expected anything to actually come of it. He didn't feel that way about her. She was a cute enough chick, but he never felt that fire and passion like he had so immediately felt with Kate. But then the mutual respect thing changed. Juliet was the first to make a move. She had kissed him, and then immediately apologized. Sawyer was somewhat amused at her reaction. But then assured her that it was a kiss, and that it could be more than that. He was starting to actually feel something for her. Part of him felt guilty about it. He didn't want to betray his feelings for Kate, but he had to continue to remind himself that Kate was gone. Kate was gone and she was never coming back. His feelings for Juliet changed. he let himself love her. He was so sick and tired of being alone. And Juliet truly loved him. She was the one thing right he had ever done in his life.

He talked about Clementine, but only occasionally. He didn't say much, but mostly because he didn't know much about her. He didn't even know her birthday. What kind of a father didn't know his daughter's birthday? Juliet reminded him that the only reason he didn't know her birthday was because he didn't know she existed till after she was born. It didn't help much. He knew that she was only trying to help, but after that he didn't bring up his daughter again.

But just because he didn't talk about her, didn't mean he didn't think about her. He wondered what she looked like. He remembered the picture Cassidy had given to him. He remembered her blue blue eyes. But couldn't really tell if her hair would be blonde or brown when she got older. Maybe her eye color would change too. Maybe she would have dimples. Probably since both of her parents did, but not always. Hearing Kate talking about her made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He was glad that it was Kate who was talking to him about her. He had more questions, but wouldn't ask. He wasn't ready.

"We should come up with a plan," Jack said. Sawyer shook his head, and came out of his daze. He looked over at where Jack was standing. "I don't think we should leave."

"What?" Sawyer exclaimed and got up.

"Seriously," Jack began, putting his arms up in defense. "When we crashed here my entire time was spent trying to get us off the island, right?"

"Yeah," Sawyer mumbled.

"Well once we were home, none of us we really happy," Jack said. "I mean, we all had important things to deal with. Sun, obviously you had your daughter, but you were missing Jin, and Jin was missing everything."

"Yes," Sun nodded. "I know, I was there. But Jack-I have to get back to my daughter. You can't expect me to want to stay on the island."

"How are we going to leave?" Jack asked. "I mean…we could go back to the other island and try to take off on the airplane, but last I checked, the plane was filled with explosives. How the hell are we supposed to get out of this? I just feel like maybe-maybe everything will be fine if we just stay."

"Where are we going to stay?" Kate asked.

"How about the village?" Jack asked. "I mean, we could just move into the houses. We'd be protected. There's that sonar fence to keep things out. We'd be fine."

"You're forgetting one thing," Sawyer began. "What about food? There's no food drop anymore doc!"

"We survived," Jack said. "Look, we survived this. If we survived once, we could survive again. We could figure something out. I vote to stay, what about everyone else?"

"I'm leaving," Sawyer replied.

"Kate?" Jack asked.

"I want to be with Aaron," she whispered. "Things were not as bad as you want to make them out to be Jack. The only thing that was bad about what we had off the island was the fact that you drank like a fish."

"What do you think Hurley?" Jack asked.

"I don't know dude," he began. "It's like this…when we were stuck here 3 years ago, we were screwed. Everything sucked. I just wanted to go home. And when I got home, things seemed better. I had my parents, but then everything got screwed up again. I don't know. I mean, dude, was the reason we came back just to get everyone we left behind, because I sorta remember you saying dude, that you had to go back to do something. Well we did something. The freaking hatch exploded, and Juliet died. So is that what we were here for?"

"I don't think so," Jack shook his head. "I think we are meant to be here."

"Ok, well if your done with your faith talk-" Sawyer began.

"No," Jin began. "James, maybe he's right. I mean, maybe we are supposed to be here. There's a reason for everything right? Now that I have Sun back, that's all that matters. I mean our daughter matters too-"

"You don't want to go home to see her?" Sawyer exclaimed.

"No, of course I do," Jin nodded. "I want to see her, but I don't know if that will ever happen. I mean, do I risk our lives by trying to leave or do I play it safe by staying."

"Play it safe?" Sawyer asked. "How would staying here be playing it safe?"

"We were here 3 years," Jin answered. "No problems."

"Fine," Sawyer murmured. "Hurley, Jin, and Jack…Sun?"

"All I've wanted for 3 years is to be back with Jin," she responded. "But all I can think about is getting back to Ji Yeon."

"Our names were on the wall," Jack began. "They were on that sundial in the lighthouse. I really think this is where we're all supposed to be. Have I ever let any of you down?…ok don't answer that. But I think I'm right this time. And James, what do you have to get back to?"

Jack was right. Aside from Clementine there was no reason for him to leave. Especially if Kate chose to stay. Clementine was better off without him. He didn't say anything, but the decision was made for everyone. They would stay and make a new life on the island. But thinking about this wasn't helping.

"If you think that I'm going to let you just come back to the island and take back your damn leadership role, you've got another thing coming!" Sawyer exclaimed. "I know this island better than any of you...aside from maybe Jin. We're the one's who are going to make this decision. I'm done letting you tell us what to do! It doesn't ever get us anywhere, Jackass."

"James," Kate sighed. "Stop."

"You're ok with all of this?" Sawyer yelled. "I mean, damn Kate! If I had known you wanted to stay so badly I wouldn't have made you-"

"You haven't made me do anything," she said. "Look. All of this is so screwed up. We should just stick together. We can't be fighting. So stop being like this. We have to all agree."

"What do you want Kate?" Sawyer asked softly. "What do you want to do? Do you want to stay?"

She stayed quiet. Sawyer waited for her to say something, but she looked down and away from her. He shook his head and chuckled. He stood up and walked away from her. Kate opened her mouth to say something, but then stopped. Sawyer walked toward Jack, he stood close to him.

"Lead the way o' wise one," Sawyer said. "You get your way...again."

"I think-" Jack began.

"Don't say anything," he shook his head. "Let's just go."

Jack walked ahead. Sawyer made sure that he was the last person in line. Kate looked behind at him, but she followed Jack. Sun and Jin were walking together, then Hurley, and finally Sawyer. He had a bad feeling about it, but he wouldn't say anything. Jack always seemed to have the answer, and he never seemed to be right. Maybe this time things would be different.

**A/N: Hope you liked, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Sawyer watched Kate. He knew she was talking to Jack. He wished that he could hear her, but he was too far away. Jin and Sun were also talking quietly. He assumed they were speaking Korean so even if they were in ear shot he wouldn't be able to understand them anyway. He looked at Hurley.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"About all of this?" Hurley asked. "I don't know. I mean, dude, off the island, our lives sucked. And you…well you sort of had a good life here, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay?"

"I don't know Hugo," Sawyer mumbled. "Maybe. But-I-never mind. It's not important."

"Dude, you can talk to me," he said. "You know that right?"

"Maybe later," he answered.

"K," Hurley nodded.

Hurley walked ahead toward Sun and Jin, they both started talking to him. Sawyer continued to stare at Kate and Jack.

Kate looked over at Jack

"Jack," she began. "I don't know if this is really…"

"Do you trust me Kate?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "For some reason I do."

"Why do you say it like that?" he asked. "Kate, I've only ever wanted to do what was best for the group. You know that right? I never asked for the job as leader…it was just sort of handed to me. And every time I made a decision people didn't like it-"

"I know," she sighed. "I know you never wanted it Jack, but you have to understand too, that if your idea doesn't work. And if bad things happen, no matter what people will blame you. It may not be fair, but it's completely true."

"So it's my fault that Juliet's dead," he said. "That's what you're saying right."

"I don't think it is Jack, we all agreed to your plan," she answered. "It's not your fault."

"I think that Sawyer would disagree with you," he responded. "I feel bad Kate. I mean…if I ever lost you. I'd kill whoever it was that caused it. I don't blame him for wanting me dead."

"I don't think he wants you dead," Kate shook her head. "I think he just misses her. But she's gone. There's nothing we can do about it. If you really think staying here would be better than leaving…"

"I don't know anything Kate," he murmured. "I'm just sick and tired of running in circles."

"Me too," she said quietly. She wasn't even sure if he heard her. Then she looked back at Sawyer. Almost as if it were a reflex that she couldn't stop. She knew that Jack had seen her. It was too late now. She decided to stop walking and wait for Sawyer to catch up. He was now further behind than he was before. Jack continued walking. He knew she was going to talk to Sawyer.

"You comin'?" she asked.

"Yeah yeah," he murmured. "I'm comin' Freckles."

"What's the matter with you?" she asked.

"I'm just tired," he whispered. "I want to get the hell off this damn island. I think maybe the airplane ain't such a bad idea. I mean Miles and Frank seem to like the idea."

"If you want to follow them, then go," she said.

"Ok, so I told you my problem…lack of sleep, but then what's yours?" he asked.

"I don't have a problem," she answered.

"'If you want to follow them, then go'," he said in a mocking voice, that sounded nothing like Kate. "Why are you so pissed at me for having an opinion?"

"You said we'd leave the island," she replied. "Remember? You said 'you and me are getting off this island.' I remember it clear as day. And then you let Jack talk you into going back into the jungle."

"It was a vote Kate!" he exclaimed. "And if memory serves YOU voted with your saint Jack, so don't turn this around on me!"

"You could have voted against," she said.

"Really?" he asked. "How could I have voted against? Everyone was all for it! Even Sun and Jin. Even you. Do you really want to stay here the rest of your life? Never see Aaron again? Never be back in civilization? It's like you said Kate…I promised we'd get off the island. So now that we're not leaving? It sounds a little like you're just scared. Scared of what might happen when we get home. You'll have to actually make a choice. On the island, it doesn't matter if you flip back and forth. Ain't no where to go. It's not like if I get sick of it I can just leave town."

"Fine," she sighed. "I'm just saying…you could have held your ground."

"OK, but where would that have gotten me?" he asked. "Jack just woulda told me to piss off. I couldn't very well have Jack lead you and Jin, and Sun too, into the jungle without me. Because if something happens-"

"What makes you think something will happen?" she asked. As soon as Kate said it the sound of the smoke monster alarmed. Jack and everyone else started running. Jack saw something ahead through the trees.

"Here!" he exclaimed. Everyone followed him through the trees and through the double metal doors. Jack quickly shut the door behind them. Sun held her hand to her chest and breathed out sharply.

"Way to go Freckles," Sawyer gasped for a breath. "You should know never to say 'what could happen', in the middle of a jungle with a smoke monster on the loose."

"Are we safe?" she asked, somewhat ignoring Sawyer's comment, but smiling slightly anyway.

"I think so," Jack answered. "But I don't really know."

"What is this place?" Kate whispered.

"Research hatch," Sawyer mumbled.

"What?" Jack said.

"It's a research hatch," Jin answered. "Dharma…they had all these ideas. They wanted to execute every single one. Like the electromagnetism thing."

"Do you think they did it Jin?" he asked.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I don't think Dharma even existed-"

"What about Patchy," Sawyer interrupted. "He could have-Jin do you know how huge this would be?"

"You mind filling us in?" Kate asked.

"Dharma," Sawyer began. "They had this idea…they-they thought that they could figure out time travel. They-they wanted to create some sort of portal through time."

"You mean a time machine?" Jack asked. "That's-"

"Impossible…I know," he nodded. "But it was sort of impossible for us to be jumping through time before we landed in the 70's too. I mean-I don't know doc. I don't know how to explain it."

"Over here," Hurley chimed in. "There's a-a thing."

"Very descriptive Hugo, thanks," Sawyer said.

"No, dude, it's like a-a I don't know how to describe it. Like a circular room. With some sort of panel."

Sawyer and everyone else followed Hurley through the doorway and into a second room. There was a metal tube in the middle of the room. Big enough for at least 3 people. Sawyer saw all kinds of high tech equipment around. Jack walked toward the control panel.

"Don't touch anything," Sawyer said.

"Wait," Jack replied. He looked at the control panel a few moments longer. "Time travel? I don't think so."

He pushed a button and suddenly the room started shaking. Everyone put their hands to their ears. Sawyer knew the feeling well. But this time it was different. He felt like his head was going to explode. No…implode. It was lasting longer than normal.

"Go!" Sawyer exclaimed. They all started to make their way back outside. Before they were all the way out there was a loud explosion. Sawyer was thrown to the ground. He looked around but didn't see anyone else. They were right behind him weren't they? He quickly scrambled to his feet and looked around. He couldn't see anything through the smoke. As the smoke cleared he saw Jin laying face down. He was impaled by a piece of metal. Sawyer went toward him, but realized even before he got there that he was too late. Jin was laying next to Sun who looked as if she was sleeping contentedly, but Sawyer knew she wasn't. Sawyer shook his head and made his way slowly back into the hatch. Hurley was close by. Sawyer knelt down next to him.

"Hurley," he said. He shook him and Hurley fell over. His nose was bleeding. Sawyer wiped his own nose and saw blood, but obviously Hurley couldn't handle it. He closed his eyes. _Please,_ he told himself. He prayed. He never prayed. He stopped believing in a higher power a long time ago and his faith was even more shattered by Juliet's death, but this would be too much for one person to handle.

"Jack," her voice said, but it was breaking. He found her in the rubble. She was stuck under something. Jack was near by but he was dead too. "Jack, can you hear me?"

"Freckles," Sawyer said softly. "We can't help him."

"I know," she nodded and frowned. Her eyes started fluttering.

"Stay with me," he said. "Come on Freckles. We're going home. I'm gonna take you home. I'm gonna get you outta here."

"I can't," she shook her head. "I can't move. My leg."

He looked down and saw that her leg was bent in a gross L shape. He knew that he could carry her, but he also knew he shouldn't move her too much. He started moving stuff off of her. She groaned. Blood was everywhere. Sawyer started moving more frantically and panicking. He was breathing, trying hard not to cry.

"James," she whispered. "James, it's ok. Stop. Just-stop. I-I want to tell you something."

"Then tell me when I get you out of here," he sniffled and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He continued trying to move things, but the final beam on top of Kate was too heavy for him to move all by himself. He tried to find her hand and finally grabbed it. He looked down at her and she gave him a weak smile.

"I'm dying," she whispered. "You have to leave me here."

"No," he said stubbornly trying to stop the tears from falling. "I'm not leaving you behind."

"You have to," she said, but he could tell that she was having a harder time breathing. "I'm not going to make it."

"Yes you are," he replied. "I let Juliet die, and I'm not going to let you die too. Come on. Who's gonna bug me? Who's gonna laugh at my stupid jokes? I need you to come with me Kate. I need you to stay with me."

"You have to go," she whispered. "You have to live and go be with your daughter. Go meet your daughter."

"I ain't gonna meet my daughter, because you and I, we're getting the hell outta here," he replied. "We're gettin' in that machine and going back to before the plane ever crashed."

"You really think it's gonna work," she said, with a slight groan.

"There's nothin' left to believe in Freckles," he whispered. "Might as well try one last crazy idea."

"Find me," she whispered. "When you get back to before…you have to find me. Depending on what year you end up-who am I kidding, this is you…you know how to find people."

"I ain't gonna find you, because you're comin' with me!" he exclaimed. He started trying to move the beam again. "You're not going to die alone in this damn hatch. You have to come back with me so that you can show me. You have to teach me about Clementine."

"She likes purple, but hates pink," Kate whispered.

"No," he shook his head. "Stop. Stop actin' like we're never gonna see each other again."

"I-I love you so much James," she said.

"No," he shook his head. "No goodbyes. I suck at goodbyes."

"Not goodbye James," she answered. "I love you isn't goodbye."

"Don't," he said, squeezing her hand. He sniffled and ran his hand over her forehead. "Kate please, don't leave me. We have to go back. We have to do the whole stupid dating. I'll come pick you up in my mustang, and you'll be so impressed I'll hook up with you on the first date, and then, I don't know-you got to do the whole playing house thing with Jack…well we never got to play house Kate. I want to play house with you. Pickett fences. Kids playing in the front yard."

"Kids?" she chuckled. Her voice was soft and her breathing was shallow.

"Well ya know, maybe Clementine and Aaron could come visit," he shrugged. "I dunno, but I don't want to leave you here."

"Look," she whispered. She looked toward the 'time machine'. It was glowing. There was a soft hum coming from it. Then a loud voice sounded '_Execution in One minute'._

"Come on Freckles!" he said. "Don't give up. Push the beam off yourself!"

"I can't," she shook her head. Her eyes fluttered again and she was struggling to breathe.

"Stay with me," he whispered. "Don't leave me yet. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not, because you're going to find me," she answered. "Will you-will you find me?"

"I'll find you," he nodded. "Maybe I'll give you a nice good con."

She smiled and squeezed his hand weakly.

"Kate," he said. "Kate. Freckles!"

She closed her eyes and slipped away. Sawyer held her hand. He didn't let her hand go as he cried over her.

"I love you too," he whispered. _Execution in 15 seconds. _Sawyer looked at the time machine and then looked back at Kate. He kissed her forehead and got up. He ran toward the machine and looked at the buttons. There was a place for time. He flipped it a couple times, trying to get to 2004, but as he was playing with it, the door slammed shut and that horrible headache and bright light started. Sawyer held his head and waited till it stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

He held his head as the noise got worse. He started thinking, maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. Then suddenly it stopped. He stopped holding his head and stood upright. He opened his eyes an squinted from the sun. He was standing in the middle of the road. A car honked at him and he quickly got onto the sidewalk.

"Where am I?" he whispered. He looked around. He looked up at the buildings. He had no idea what city he was even in, but then he realized, that it was Los Angeles. He saw the cars and they all had California license plates. He saw a park bench and sat down hard. He put his head down in his hands and then leaned back with his head against the back of the bench. He felt something land in his hand.

"There you go sir," the woman said softly. He looked down at his hand and saw that the woman gave him a dollar. Apparently she thought that he was in need of a handout. He hadn't looked in the mirror lately, but he figured he just looked ragged from the island.

"Um, excuse me," he said. "This is going to sound really weird, but, what year is it?"

"2004," she answered sweetly. Did it work? Was it before the plane crash? But then why was he in California. Wouldn't he be in Australia, trying to find the real Sawyer? All that mattered was trying to find Kate again.

What was he going to do now? He was stuck in a big city. He knew the first thing he wanted to do was find Kate. He figured that he could find her somehow but he wasn't sure exactly where to start. All he had was the dollar that the nice lady had just given to him. It was present day though? So did that mean that Kate was still stuck on the island dead? It didn't work. He got up off the bench and started walking down the street. He shoved his hands along with the dollar into his pocket. A woman walked past him, he watched her looking at him, and smirked slightly. She watched him until they were too far away to see each other. Sawyer was used to getting looks from women, but it didn't stop him from being happy about it. He smirked again and whispered to himself 'I still got it'. He continued walking. At least there was no risk of bumping into the smoke monster here. But then he thought to himself, maybe Locke was wandering somewhere around here. He could warn him not to go back to the island.

He felt a little ridiculous. In a city like LA with no cash in his pocket, the only place he could think to go was the beach. He didn't even know why he would want to go to the beach again. That was the last place he wanted to be, but it was the only place he could think of. That way he could be close to her. He would have to walk, since he didn't have enough money for a cab.

He knew he could find it if he walked for long enough. He was walking over the walk of fame. Names of famous people. He didn't know what the big deal was with famous people. Sure if he saw Robert DeNiro walking down the street, it would be pretty freaking sweet, but seeing the name on the sidewalk was no big deal. People were taking pictures. Tourists always annoyed him. He tried to stay out of the big cities. It was just fill with fake people. He finally found the beach. He could smell the salt water before he even got there.

He sat down in the sand and watched a woman playing with her son. She reminded him slightly of Kate, but he knew it wasn't her. They were playing near the water and running away from the waves. The woman picked the young child up and swung him around. He watched some teenagers playing Frisbee. They were whooping and hollering. Being slightly obnoxious, but Sawyer missed obnoxious sometimes. He wished he had an ice cold beer at this point. He was starting to sweat in the heat of the California sun. He stayed at the beach for most of the day. He got up off the sand and brushed his pants off.

He walked back from the way he came. He was watching everything around him. Everything was loud and busy in LA. He heard loud commotion and shouting coming from down an alley. He heard the sound of police sirens too. Then he heard police chatter.

"We got him," he heard one of the officers say into the walkie-talkie. He ran toward the scene. Other people had already started to gather around. Sawyer pushed his way through the crowd and saw a man being forced to the ground. He realized quickly that it was Sayid.

"We got Jarrah," another officer said.

"Hey!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Let him go!"

"Sir, you need to back of," the first officer said, pushing past him, taking Sayid with him. Sawyer looked over his shoulder and saw a woman walking down the street in the opposite direction. She had long curly brown hair.

"Freckles," he whispered. He started walking. He could have sworn he heard Miles's voice, maybe he even said something about not knowing where the hell detective Ford was. But he was too focused on the brunette who he was sure was Kate.

He ran after her. She was pretty far away from him. He wasn't even sure it was her, but it had to be. He ran across the street. He didn't look. And he didn't pay attention to the cross walk signal. As he crossed the street to get to "Kate", he heard honking. There were honks coming from every side of him. It was too late to do anything. He didn't even feel it when the car hit him. Everything went black.

He heard sirens again. His eyes fluttered open, he felt the shaking of the ambulance.

"Freckles," he said again. "Hmm. Why don't you come a little closer and warm me up?"

"Sir, you need to stay still," the paramedic helping him said.

"Hmm," he whispered. "Baby, I am tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery."

"Um-" the paramedic began. "Do you know where you are?

"Island," he said softly. "Tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Course I'm serious."

"Oh, don't worry, they caught the terrorist," the paramedic answered. Sawyer passed out.

When he woke up he could hear the faint beeping of a heart monitor. Part of him was relieved because he knew he was alive. His leg hurt. He looked around. There were nurses coming in and out of his room. Checking his stats. He didn't even know if his eyes were all the way opened. He tried to open them wider, but felt too tired.

"Freckles," he whispered. Before he slipped back out of consciousness he heard someone paging Dr. Shephard. This time he was sure of it, but then again it could have been the meds talking.

He was coming out of his unconsciousness. He opened his eyes, things came into focus. Miles was sitting next to him.

"Hey," Miles said. "Y'know, you would think after 5 years of working the streets you would know how to read the crosswalk signals…that little red man means stop…the blue man means you can go."

"What?" Sawyer said hoarsely.

"You were hit by a car partner," Miles replied. "Crossing the damn street. And quite frankly I think the doctors and nurses here are getting pretty damn sick of seeing you. This is now what, the 5th time this year?"

"Miles, what are you talking about?" he asked softly. "Where's Kate?"

"Kate?" Miles asked. "Who the hell is Kate?"

"Come on, stop joking around with me," he said. "Where am I?"

"Dude, you must have been hit harder than we thought," Miles said. "Hello…you are in Los Angeles…also known as City of Angels. But you must mean…you're in the hospital. Like I said, you were hit by a car. We are partners…detectives. You don't remember any of this-"

"Hey genius!" a woman walked into the hospital room. It was Ana Lucia. Sawyer rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. When he opened them, Ana was still standing in front of him. "You got yourself hit by a car Jimmy? What the hell were you thinking?"

"It's not like I did it on purpose," he murmured. "What are you doing here? I don't-this is-it's making my head hurt."

"Aww, Jim-bo, you don't remember you're Lulu?" she asked.

"Ana, I think he's a little out of it," Miles said.

"Oh, this time somethin' was knocked loose?" she questioned. "Man, I would have thought all those rolls in the sack woulda done something. Anyway. Miles, he wants to talk to you."

"Great," Miles mumbled. He stood up and walked toward the doorway. Sawyer could have sworn he saw Jack standing in the doorway before he passed out again.

"Miles, look," Jack began. "You have to keep an eye on him. I thought you were supposed to make sure you weren't doing any of the dangerous ones anymore. He's going to get himself killed. Next time he won't be so lucky."

"Don't put this on me," Miles scoffed. "What he does when we're not in the squad car has nothing to do with me. I mean, come on Jack, he ran across Underle street without looking. What do you expect would happen?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "You're right, sorry. Has he said anything."

"He mumbled something about Freckles, and then he asked me where Kate was," Miles said. "He's said a few other things too, but the Kate thing is what's got me freaked out. He insisted. He wanted to know where she was."

"I've known James 30 years," Jack began. "Never heard him mention any Kate before."

"I'm gonna go back in there," Miles sighed. "Have to look after my partner right?"

"I'll come with you," he responded. "I should do some more checking."

Jack walked into the room. He pushed passed Ana and started checking Sawyer's heart rate. Then he checked his pupils. When he did Sawyer gasped and woke up.

"Oh, sorry buddy," Jack said, with a slight chuckle. "How you feeling?"

"Doc," Sawyer whispered. "Please, just-tell me where Kate is. Tell me she's not in jail."

"Whoa," Jack began. "Buddy, who do we know named Kate? Did you go out partying without me again? Meet some random chick. I bet you owe her money…nah, then you wouldn't be trying to find her. She owes you money."

"Son of a bitch," Sawyer whispered. He came to a realization that everything was different. Wherever he landed it wasn't before the plane crash, it was some weird reality where he was friends with Jack, partners with Miles, and sleeping with Ana Lucia? Miles came into the room, and closed the door but not all the way. He smirked at Sawyer.

"I have someone here who really wants to see you," Miles said. Maybe not! Maybe Kate had found him. She was so smart. She could find him anywhere. Sawyer started trying to sit up. Miles opened the door. A little blonde girl ran into the room holding a piece of paper that blew slightly as she ran.

"Daddy," she said. Sawyer gasped slightly. The little girl started trying to climb onto the bed. "Can I Doctor Jack?"

"Just be careful," Jack whispered. "Be careful with your daddy."

Jack chuckled and helped her onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around him softly and kissed his cheek. Then she looked at him with a large smile. She had a gap between her teeth where one of her front teeth had fallen out. He smiled at her and touched her cheek.

"Hi daddy," she said again.

"Hi," he whispered.

"You're hurt," she frowned. "Oh, just a little."

"I made you a present," she told him. She handed him the piece of paper she was holding. She had drawn him a picture of a man in a body cast. It was very good for a 5 year old. He chuckled and looked at her.

"Thanks," he said. "This is cool."

"Daddy, when can we go home?" she asked.

"I dunno," he said. "I got an idea. Why don't you take Miss Ana and go to the vending machines. I'm sure she'll buy you a candy bar."

"Yeah," Ana smiled. "Come on honey."

He was hoping that she would say her name. Sawyer was hoping that it was Clementine, but he couldn't be entirely sure. He smiled until the little girl disappeared through the door. He looked at Miles and Jack.

"Will one of you please tell me what the hell is going on?" he asked. "I mean, my life has never made sense, but this? Just-I know I probably sound crazy to all of you because somehow I'm-never mind it's not important, but tell me what's going on."

"You don't remember Clementine," Miles asked. "Ok…well not remembering me and Jack, that's weird, but Clem? I mean she's your whole world. You're her daddy."

"Clementine," Sawyer whispered. "Yeah, I knew that. And I have her a couple days a week?"

"No, you have custody," Jack told him. "You have sole custody. Cassidy was deemed as unfit. Come on, you don't remember any of this?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm just-I'm tired."

He decided that it would be better if he could just pretend that he knew exactly what was going on.

"Jack-o," Sawyer began. "Tell me somethin', do I got any nicknames for Clementine? I don't want to freak her out. I just can't remember if I call her anything."

"You used to call her pumpkin, but she told you that it was too baby-ish, so you've been calling her princess," Jack answered. "It's ok, we'll make sure you get your memory back."

"It might help if I could go home," Sawyer said. As he spoke Clementine and Ana returned.

"Yeah!" Clementine exclaimed. "Can we go home uncle Jack?"

"I'll see what I can do," Jack smiled. He ran his hand over Clementine's head. Sawyer had realized since Clementine seemed to be very comfortable with Jack, that he and Jack must be friends. Pretty good friends at that. But it still made him jealous that Clementine seemed to really like Jack. What if she liked him more than she liked Sawyer? He knew it was stupid. He was her daddy. She loved her daddy. Sawyer sighed and sat up. He patted the bed and Clementine climbed up.

"Daddy, I love you," she said and put her arms around him. "Don't leave me ok?"

Sawyer felt a lump in his throat. He hugged her back and kissed her cheek.

"I ain't goin' no where princess," he whispered. Strangely enough it felt very natural. Jack wheeled a chair over to Sawyer. Sawyer shook his head and started getting up, only just now realizing that his leg was in a heavy cast. He looked down and murmured _son of a bitch _softly. He would have argued and tried to walk out himself, but it was too painful. He got into the chair and winced.

"Daddy are you ok?" Clementine exclaimed. "I'm scared."

"I'm fine," he nodded. "You want a ride?"

She nodded eagerly and Sawyer held his arms up so she could climb onto his lap. Without having to be told, she was very careful of his leg and sat down on the other one. She smiled at him and he ran his thumb over he dimpled cheek. Jack walked over to the check out desk. Miles was pushing Sawyer and Clementine in the wheelchair. He was swerving gently which was making Sawyer slightly nauseous but Clementine was giggling so he stayed quiet.

"I'm checking out James Ford," Jack said. "He wants to go home."

"Jack, do you think-" the woman at the desk began.

"It's fine," he interrupted. "Don't worry. He just wants to take his daughter home."

Jack turned back and patted Sawyer on the shoulder. Clementine hugged Sawyer tightly and he held on to her for dear life. He wouldn't forget about his mission to find Kate, but for now, he had to learn how to be a daddy.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack drove Sawyer home since he didn't have his car at the hospital. Jack had given Sawyer a pair of crutches so he didn't have to rely on the wheelchair. Sawyer was attempting to climb the steps with the crutches, but wasn't having much luck. Clementine was chuckling softly, and covering her mouth with both hands to try and stop the laughter from escaping. Sawyer stopped and looked down at her.

"Somethin' funny?" he asked her. She chuckled again and looked at him.

"Daddy, you're funny!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I'm glad my pain amuses you so much," he answered. "Now come on. Get in the house, you mind holdin' the door for me?"

"But daddy, you're supposed to hold the door for the princess," she smirked.

"Since I'm a tad preoccupied, do you think you could be so kind?" he asked. She chuckled and opened the door for him. Jack helped Sawyer climb the steps. Jack helped Sawyer to the couch and he sat down and put his leg up on the coffee table. It was a nice enough house. Sawyer realized that it was most likely bought and paid for. He didn't have to steal money from pretty ladies if he was a private detective. He looked at Clementine. She climbed up on the couch next to him and cuddled against his chest.

"Daddy, can I have apple juice?" she asked.

"Are you serious?" he moaned. "Clementine, I got a broken leg-"

"I'll get it," Jack said softly. "Maybe I should stick around for a few days, just so-"

"Really doc? You don't mind?" Sawyer asked quickly.

"Yeah man, I mean, you're my best friend right?" he asked.

"Best friends," Sawyer chuckled. "Yeah, whatever you say Doc."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why are you laughing? Maybe something really did knock lose in your head. Anyway. I wouldn't leave you to fend for yourself with a 5 year old."

"Uncle Jack, I'm 5 and a half," Clementine argued.

"OK," Jack chuckled. "Sorry. I just mean, your daddy is going to need some help because you can be a handful sometimes."

Clementine started chuckling again. Sawyer looked at her and put his hands on his hips.

"Miss Clementine, I believe that you may be the most giggly little girl I've ever met," Sawyer said. She smiled at him and nodded.

"I like to laugh," she said.

"I like hearing you laugh," he answered softly. Jack came back into the room and saw Sawyer looking at Clementine. He walked toward Sawyer and sighed softly. He held out his hand and pulled Sawyer to a standing position.

"Honey, why don't you drink your juice?" Jack said to Clementine. "I'm gonna go talk to your daddy."

Jack pulled Sawyer into the other room. Sawyer hopping on one leg so that he didn't step on his cast.

"What's your problem?" Sawyer asked.

"What's _my _problem?" Jack scoffed. "You're acting like you've never seen your daughter in your entire life. I mean…she's been yours for 5 and a half years."

"Jack," he sighed.

"Tell me what's going on right now," Jack said. "Is it the whole memory thing? I mean, you really don't remember-"

"It's hard to explain," Sawyer whispered. "I can't explain it to you right now. Maybe someday I will be able to, but not now. I know that Clementine needs me, so I have to do something. I have to be there for her."

"But you don't remember ever having her?" Jack asked.

"Don't tell anyone," he said. "I think I'm doin' a pretty good job pretending for now."

"The cabinet under the TV is full of photo albums," he answered. "Maybe it will jog some memories."

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. They walked back into the living room, and Clementine was sitting quietly watching a cartoon. Sawyer sat down and Jack went to the TV.

"Jack!" Clementine whined. "I can't see the TV!"

"Hold on," he laughed. He picked up two photo albums from under the TV and brought them to where Sawyer was sitting. He put the first on Sawyer lap. Sawyer opened the album and started looking through the pictures. It was when Clementine was much younger. She was nearly just a baby. Jack was in most of the pictures too. There was one of Sawyer's birthday. He was holding Clementine on his lap. She looked like she was 2, maybe even younger. He was blowing out the candles. Sawyer smirked. He wished he could remember these moments. He didn't know if it was even real. All he knew was the island. There was another picture of Clementine dressed as a princess. Sawyer looked at his own smiling face. It was almost as if he was looking at a complete stranger. He knew nothing about this man's life.

"James," Jack began. "You really really don't remember this do you?"

"No," he whispered. "I wish I did. Jack, how did we-this is going to sound completely insane, but when did we even become friends?"

"30 years ago," he replied. "You were in kindergarten. I was in 2nd grade."

"And why would you ever want to hang out with a kindergartener?" Sawyer chuckled.

"Because some older kids were picking on you. Calling your mom names," Jack whispered. "So I stood up for you. Almost got beat up in the process, but…you were pretty strong for a 5 year old."

"You tellin' me that I took the older kids down?" he asked.

"Well, they learned never to talk about James Ford's mom ever again," Jack replied.

"So tell me somethin'," he began. "What exactly were they saying?"

"Talking about her cheating on your dad," he answered.

"Even then?" Sawyer asked. "I mean…she didn't-never mind. None of this makes sense. So my dad…he killed my mom right?"

"No," Jack shook his head. "But…James, I thought you didn't remember any of this. But you think your parents are dead, so you must remember something. So you want me to tell you?"

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded.

"Your dad…he found out. He tried to kill her, he killed himself," Jack began. "He shot her, but they got to her in time. My dad saved her. That's sort of when we became best friends. I mean we were friends before, but after my dad saved your mom, I don't know. She was eternally grateful. You came over to our house all the time. Look, there she is at your birthday last year."

Sawyer looked down at the picture. He and his mom were sitting next to each other. His mom had her arm around him. He felt himself starting to cry. This time he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop himself. Jack looked at him and furrowed his eyebrows.

"James," he whispered.

"I'm fine," he shook his head. "Sorry. I just-I never mind. I gotta-"

"Listen," Jack cleared his throat. "I'm gonna get going. But dinner's at 6:00 sharp. Make sure you're there."

"Dinner?" Sawyer asked. "Since when-"

"Oh that's right," Jack chuckled. "In this reality you have no clue about Saturday dinner. Well, you have dinner with me every Saturday night, or almost every Saturday night anyway. Well with us."

"Us?" Sawyer smirked. "Got a little love connection?"

"You might say that," he answered. "Love of my life. I'm going to ask her to marry me in a few days."

"Congratulations man," Sawyer nodded. "So where are we goin'?"

"Oh," Jack shook his head. "Sorry. We're going to Anthony's. It's right down the street. I'll come get you since you can-"

"No," Sawyer interrupted. "I saw it on my way back home. It's not too far. And it's my left foot that's broken, so I can still drive. It's fine. I'll come and meet you and your lady love there. Anyone else coming?"

"Well sometimes Miles does," he answered. "But not tonight. I think tonight it's just gonna be the four of us."

"Clementine too?" Sawyer asked.

"Well didn't think you'd want to leave her tonight anyway," Jack said. "Sometimes you do, but…"

"Great," Sawyer nodded. "So tonight at 6...I'll meet you and your future wife. Can't wait to meet her. Again."

Jack chuckled and left the house. Clementine looked at Sawyer and climbed back onto the couch next to him. She looked at him and smiled.

"Hi," she said. "Do you have to go tonight daddy?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"But you're hurt!" she exclaimed. "You should stay home with me!"

"I know hon," Sawyer sighed. "But I gotta go. Don't worry, you're coming too."

"Oh," she said. "Goody."

"So do you like Jack's friend?"

"Yeah!" Clementine exclaimed. "She's really really nice!"

"I am sure that's true," he smirked. "So, I have a question, when do you see your mom again?"

"My mommy comes once a month," she replied. "But she has to stay here with me, and only if you're here."

"Oh," he nodded. "Ok."

"Daddy, you're silly," she smiled.

"Well," he began. "I have an idea Miss Clementine. We should do something fun tomorrow. We could go to the toy store. Or do whatever you want."

"Can we go to the book store too?" she asked.

"The book store?" he asked.

"Yeah, I want you to learn me to read," she said.

"Teach you to read," he corrected her.

"Teach me," she replied. "What else daddy?"

"Anything you want Princess," he answered.

"I want to visit grandma!" she exclaimed. "Can we?"

"Sure," he smiled and nodded. "I want to see grandma too. So tell me Clem, what's your favorite thing in the world?"

"I like dancing daddy," she answered. "And you come see me dance."

"I can't wait to see you dance," he said.

"You're the only daddy at dance class," she replied. "I'm special. My teacher says I'm the best."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed. "I like when you pick me up so I can pose!"

"Do you know how much I love you?" he whispered.

"I know," she smiled.

"Well," he began. "It's true."

"I love you too daddy," she answered. "Should I show you my dance?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Show me."

"I need help though," she said. She went to the cupboard with the photo albums and took out a CD. She handed it to him. "It's number 5."

He stood up and went to the stereo. He wasn't exactly sure on how to use it, but he knew he could figure it out. He put the disc in the CD player and then pressed the number 5. He went back over to his spot on the couch and a soft song started playing. Clementine put her arms above her head and started dancing ballet. The song started slow, but then started getting faster. Sawyer wasn't sure if she was just a really good dancer, or if he knew nothing about dancing, or maybe it was just because it was his daughter. He felt the familiar sting in his eyes. He didn't know why he was being such a baby about this. He quickly cleared his throat and forced the tears away. When the song ended Clementine curtsied and Sawyer clapped his hands loudly. Clementine chuckled and ran toward him. She jumped into his lap. She slightly pushed his leg with her foot, but he didn't notice. The phone rang and he picked it up quickly.

"Hello?" Sawyer asked.

"James," an unfamiliar female voice said on the other end. "I just heard about your accident. Miles called me. Why didn't you call me James?"

"Um-" he began. "I'm sorry?"

"I was worried sick," she answered. "I can't lose you, baby. And poor Clementine. She wasn't with you was she?"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Clementine's fine."

"Let me talk to her for a minute," she said. "And then I'll get back to you young man."

Sawyer handed Clementine the phone. He wasn't sure who it was till she called him 'young man'. But his true suspicions were confirmed when Clementine started talking.

"Hi grandma!" Clementine exclaimed. "Guess what? Daddy has a cast. Yes, he's hurt. Yes grandma. I love you too. We're gonna come for a visit tomorrow! Ok Grandma."

Clementine handed the phone back to Sawyer. She jumped off of his lap and went into her room. Sawyer swallowed hard. He had just been talking to his mother. Her voice sounded different, but now that he remembered, he could remember everything about her.

"Hey mom," he said clearing his throat slightly.

"Jamie, were you going to call me and tell me about your visit?" she asked. "Or were you just going to show up."

"I don't know," he shook his head and chuckled. "I hadn't really gotten that far. I asked Clementine what she wanted to do, and she told me she wanted to go visit you. I realized I hadn't seen you in a while and I wanted to see you too."

"James, you just saw me 2 weeks ago for Clementine's birthday," she replied.

"Mom, there's something I need to tell you," he whispered. "I haven't told anyone. Not Jack, and definitely not Clementine. I-I can't even really tell you because you're going to think I'm crazy."

"Miles already explained to me that you had lost part of your memory, but I would have thought you would remember your old mom," she answered.

"Mom," he sighed. "It's all just complicated I guess. I can't even describe it. I'm just glad that I can come see you. Can we? Can we come see you tomorrow?"

"Sure," she nodded. "You can come. Bring Clem and maybe Jack too. Jack and Clem can go to her favorite park and you and I can…catch up."

"Ok," he said. "I love you mom. I should get ready. I'm taking Clementine out to dinner."

"Ok, I love you too honey," she stated. "See you tomorrow."

Sawyer went into his room. He saw even more pictures. There was no evidence of a female in his life, other than Clementine. He figured that this Sawyer had too much to deal with, with Clementine to worry about a sex life. Maybe Ana Lucia was kidding about the rolls in the sack. He'd have to ask Jack tonight at dinner. He wondered about this fiancee of Jack's. He wondered how long Jack had been with her. What was she like? Maybe it would be someone he already knew. Hell maybe it was even Kate, but she went by some weird name in this reality, like Kathy or Kat. He should have asked Jack when he had the chance.

Sawyer came out of the bedroom. Clementine was waiting on the couch. She held the door for him as they went out of the house. On the drive to the restaurant even though it only took 10 minutes, Clementine talked the entire time. He was already exhausted only spending a few hours with Clementine. They arrived at the restaurant and Sawyer opened Clementine's door. When they walked into the restaurant another familiar face greeted him. Daniel Faraday was the host. He walked toward him, but had to make sure to maintain his composure. Daniel lead him to the table. He saw Jack's face. His mysterious almost fiancee had her back to him. She had blonde hair. He would recognize even the back of her head from anywhere.

"Jules!" he exclaimed. She stood up and smiled at him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Hey."

"Hey," she said slightly awkwardly. "How's your foot?"

"Oh," he said, backing away. "Sorry. It's fine. I just-I can't-you're here."

He hugged her again. She patted his back, again awkwardly.


	5. Chapter 5

Sawyer let go of Juliet and then looked at Jack. Jack was looking at them. Sawyer sat down at the table. "You ok?" Juliet asked.

"I told ya, he's a little off," Jack said. "But seriously dude. Back off my girl."

"I know," he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I just-I got a little carried away. I just-you could never understand."

"Y'know, you keep saying that," Jack began. "But maybe if you actually tried to explain it to me, maybe I would understand more than you would think."

"Not now," Sawyer whispered and gestured to Clementine. Jack nodded and kept his mouth shut.

The next day Sawyer spent the day with Clementine. They went to the toy store and to the book store. They were at the book store in the children's section. Sawyer was helping Clementine pick out a book. It surprised him how much she already could read. They picked out a few books and were headed to the checkout counter. Sawyer heard commotion coming from near the door. He went to the door as quickly as he could on crutches. There was one person on the ground being beat up by the other. Sawyer took his crutch and hit the guy on the back. He got up and ran off. Sawyer helped the guy to his feet and he breathed out sharply.

"Thanks," he gasped. "Son of a bitch was trying to steal my wallet."

"You ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," he nodded and looked up at him. It was Boone. Sawyer was becoming less shocked at seeing everyone he used to know.

"Well, now you're fine," he said. "Go on and get outta here."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I should get home."

Sawyer looked back at Clementine who was holding her books against her chest. He looked at her and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Did I scare you?" he asked.

"Kinda," she answered.

"Ok," he sighed. "I'm sorry. Let's go. We're gonna go to grandma's house."

"Ok," she nodded.

It took Sawyer 2 hours to drive to his mom's house. He was getting more and more nervous as he got nearer to the house. He ended up having to use the GPS to get to the house. He was trying to figure out what he was going to say to his mom. If it was really the first time he was ever seeing her it would be easier, but since he was supposed to know her already, he just didn't know what to say. When he drove into the driveway, he looked around at the house. He got out of the car and then helped Clementine open her door. Clementine jumped out of the car and then ran up the steps. The front door of the house opened and a woman walked out. Sawyer knew it was his mom. She looked almost the same. He went toward her and hugged her. He tried to hold back and not hug her too tight, to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Jamie," she whispered. "You ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm fine. I'm just-I missed you."

"Honey," she began. "I just saw you. What's the matter with you?"

"I know, but, I just-" he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know…I'm crazy. I love you."

"I love you too James," she said. "How long are you going to stay?"

"As long as you want us to," he replied. "I mean, we could just stay for a few hours."

"I just want to know why you don't remember anything," she said. "I mean. I just-did you hit your head? What happened? And how the hell were you hit by a car."

"Where do I begin," he mumbled. "I-I didn't hit my head. I went in and out of consciousness, so…I don't know. Anyway I saw this girl-"

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "So all this was all about a chick?"

"No," he shook his head. "Ok, yeah. I guess. Well, I was following her. Not in a creepy stalker kind of way, I just needed to-I needed to find her. She-it's going to sound crazy. I just-I wanted to talk to her. So I tried to follow her, and I crossed the street and got hit by a car. I guess it'll teach me to chase after women."

"How was your drive?" she asked.

"It was good," he said. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to her. He couldn't stop looking at her. She chuckled and shook her head.

"Ok," she replied. "Let's go in. I just put on a pot of coffee."

Sawyer followed his mom into the house. Clementine immediately went over to a small play area, that Sawyer was sure his mom had made just so that Clementine could play close to the kitchen, for days like today.

"How's Clementine doing?" she asked. "And how are you doing with those crutches?"

"Fine," he chuckled. "And Clementine's great. She's got dance classes tomorrow I guess."

"I've come up for her recitals before," she smiled.

"Mom, I want to talk-" he began and shook his head. "Never mind."

"Jamie, you've always been able to talk to me about anything," she told him. "I mean, maybe not always. There was that time when you were a rebellious teenager wanting to get away from me, but other than that…I mean, you weren't too afraid to tell me that Cassidy was pregnant out of wedlock."

"I want to talk about dad," he answered.

"Why the hell would you want to talk about him?" she asked. "He's been gone from our lives for over 20 years. Why would you bring it up?"

"Because I've been thinking about it," he said. "I've been thinking about dad and that day…I can't even remember what happened."

"Well that could be from the accident or it could just be because you were 7 years old when it happened," she replied. "And we never talk about it so maybe you just don't remember."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Maybe. So…so tell me what happened."

"Your dad got mad," she said softly. "He got mad because I was stupid. I made a stupid mistake and it almost cost me everything. I let this con man steal over 300,000 dollars from us. After that we were broke. So your dad…he tried to kill me, only he missed. He was trying to hit my heart, but he hit my chest. Then he shot himself in the head."

"And I was hiding under my bed?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You saw everything, heard everything, but you called 9-1-1. It's because of you that I lived."

He smirked. He felt good about being the one who "saved" his mom. Before in his real life, he had been too scared to even move from underneath the bed. Maybe if he had, his mom would have lived. He started thinking about that, but then decided to push those thoughts from his mind. There was no point on dwelling on it. Here she was in front of him, alive. He was slightly glad that his dad was still dead, because he hated him. As much as he hated the real Sawyer for being at fault for his parents death, he hated his dad too. He looked at his mom.

"I love you," he said. "I'm so glad that you're here."

"Really?" she asked. "You were pretty pissed when I moved to San Diego. You thought it was crap because it was when Clem was just a baby. You thought I was trying to stay away from you and her."

"No," he shook his head and chuckled. "Not here, like here in San Diego…here, like here in this life. The truth is, I had a dream last night about…about that night. I was hiding under the bed and I wouldn't come out because you told me not to. You told me to stay under the bed no matter what. So even after the gunshots I stayed. And you died. I lost you."

"Well I'm right here," she smiled. "And I'm gonna be here for quite a while my boy."

He reached over and took her hand. He smiled at her. They spent the rest of the visit talking about Clementine and how fast she was growing up. Sawyer wanted to tell his mom the truth. She was the only person he had actually WANTED to tell. He felt a little guilty lying to her and pretending. Part of him thought maybe she would be tipped off and see through his lies.

He drove back to LA. Clementine didn't stop talking the entire ride home. He was glad because it gave him a chance to get to know her even more. He found out that he favorite color was purple, and her favorite food was tacos. His foot was really hurting him by the time he got home. By the time he got home he had remembered what happened with Sayid before his accident. He called the police station as soon as he got home.

"Hey, this is detective Ford," he said.

"Oh, James, how are you feeling?" the officer who answered the phone asked.

"I'm fine," he replied. "I'm actually just curious about a criminal who was apprehended yesterday. Sayid Jarrah?"

"Yes, he's still in custody, still insisting his innocence," the officer answered.

"Well, did you ever think that he was?" Sawyer asked. "Innocent? I mean innocent until proven guilty right?"

"Yeah, well he's guilty James," the officer responded. "He's not going free."

"I'm going to come in tomorrow, and I want you to let me talk to him," he replied.

"Anything you want," he said. "I don't care. He's not my prisoner. He's Miles'. So take it up with your partner."

The next day Sawyer went to the police station. He walked up to the desk and saw his name plate. He sat down at the desk and looked at the paper work. Miles walked toward him.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked. "You should be home recovering."

"I'm fine," Sawyer answered. "I just-I need to see Jarrah."

"Why?" Miles asked. "Do you know him or something?"

"You might say that,' he nodded. He got up and Miles lead him to where the prisoners were held.

"Good thing you came in today because we're transferring him," Miles answered.

"Can you give us a minute?" Sawyer asked. Miles nodded and walked away. Sawyer looked at Sayid. He was laying on the bed. Sawyer couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not.

"Hey!" Sawyer exclaimed. Sayid sat up and looked at him.

"What?" Sayid asked. "Are you here to give me my rights? Transfer me to a state prison? For the 100th time, I didn't do it. I didn't do anything."

"I know," Sawyer replied. "You're coming with me."

"What?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm getting you out of here," Sawyer answered.

"Why the hell should I trust you?" Sayid asked. "You're one of them."

"You have to trust me," he replied. "I'm the only one you got. So you can either stay here and get sent off to the big jail, or you can leave with me right now. So what's it gonna be Mohamed?"

"I guess break me out," he answered.

"Not break you out, getting the charges dropped," Sawyer said. "As you said…I'm one of them…I can't just break you out. It might be a few hours till I can get everything squared away."

Sawyer went back into the main office. He looked at Miles and shook his head.

"Miles, we gotta let him go," he replied. "He didn't do it. Whatever it was, he didn't do it."

"He beat the crap out of a few cops," Miles said. "He's guilty of that at the very least."

"Ok, well, I think it's time to let him go. I'm getting the charges dropped," he replied.

"Why the hell would you do that?" he exclaimed.

"Because he's my friend," Sawyer murmured. "You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe because you won't talk to me!" he yelled. "I mean we're supposed to be partners right? Best friends. Ok…I know, I know, Jack's your best friend too, but you haven't been talking to him either. At least just-"

"Just know, that I knew him. Me and Sayid, we were friends," he whispered. "Almost another lifetime ago. So I'm taking him with me."

Sawyer and Sayid were in the car. "Where are we going?" Sayid asked. "I noticed that you're not really one to talk, but can you at least tell me that? Are you taking me to your house?"

"No," Sawyer answered. "I thought about it, but I can't. I have a little girl at home and I don't want to freak her out. I'm taking you to the Moonshine Hotel. You'll have a room there till I figure out what I'm gonna do."

"Why are you helping me?" he asked.

"Because I have to," he sighed. "I have to figure out what to do."

"Ok, well let me know when you have a plan," Sayid answered.

"Sure," Sawyer chuckled. "You'll be the first to know."

Sawyer checked into the hotel and made sure that Sayid had everything he would need. Then he headed home. When he got home Jack was babysitting Clementine. He walked into the house and saw Jack and Clementine dancing. Clementine was wearing her ballet tutu. Sawyer stood in the doorway and watched as Jack turned her. He picked her up and spun her around. She started chuckling and then Jack stopped spinning. She wrapped her arms around Jack's neck.

"Uncle Jack?" she asked. "What's wrong with my daddy? He's changed."

"I know," he sighed. "I don't know what's wrong. But he loves you very very much."

"I know," she frowned. "But I wish he was here."

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered. "But hey, you want me to stay for a little while?"

"Yeah!" she exclaimed. Sawyer wished he hadn't heard it. He knew that everything was different. He knew that Clementine knew it.

"Look who's back!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed. She ran toward him and jumped into his arms. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Daddy, are you staying now?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I just had to go to work. But they gave me time off so I could spend time with you."

"Goody," she smiled. "Tomorrow is dance! Me and Jack danced!"

"I saw," he told her. "You were good."

"Will you dance with me daddy?" she asked.

"I don't know how," he replied.

"Yuh huh," she argued. "You just pick me up and twirl."

"Do boys twirl?" Sawyer asked, giving her a look.

"Yes daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Ok," he sighed. Sawyer was still holding her. He walked to where Jack and Clementine had been dancing before. He started dancing and then started spinning faster and faster. Clementine started giggling. He wasn't getting tired of hearing her laughing. He kissed her forehead and stopped spinning.

"More daddy, I'm not tired," she told him.

"I am," he told her. "I'm dizzy. Clem…I know that things are weird right now, but I promise, everything will get better. And I'm gonna be a better daddy."

"Promise?" she asked.

"Pinky," he said holding up his pinky. She linked hers with his and giggled again. "I love you."

Even though he had already said it to her since he'd been there, this time he felt it with everything in him. He kissed her forehead again. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. Jack smiled at Sawyer and nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

Sawyer was at the police station. His co-workers and especially Miles told him that he should take off some more time to be with Clementine and to recover, but especially since he didn't have a memory of his life. Sawyer was determined to do some research on Kate. He couldn't very well do it at home with Clementine there. Jack had the day off from work and was spending it with Clementine. Sawyer felt slightly guilty, since he had made a promise to Clementine that he would do better, but he didn't even know how to do better. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to her and he certainly didn't know how to be a good dad. He was already supposedly a great dad, but to try and surpass it, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. But what was more, was that he was even more obsessed with trying to find Kate than ever. If he could find nearly everyone else, why could he not find Kate?

He was finding plenty of articles containing Katherine Austen. Mostly about the wanted criminal. Part of him was glad to be reminded of all of it. He read exactly what happened. Kate had blown up a house with her father sleeping inside. He wanted to know more details because the newspaper articles painted Kate as a horrible evil person. Nothing redeeming about the young woman. Sawyer knew it wasn't true. Part of him wanted to call the newspapers and tell them what a bad idea they had of her, but he realized most of the articles were at least 3 years old anyway. More than anything he just wanted to find her whereabouts, but no one seemed to know where the criminal was hiding. It gave him some hope that the woman who he had seen had in fact been her. But even if he could find her, she wouldn't have any idea who he was. She would go in the other direction, not even looking at him twice.

"James, why don't you go home," Miles asked. It made Sawyer jump and gasp slightly.

"Damn, can't you make some noise when you move, I think maybe I'll buy you a bell to put around your neck," Sawyer said.

"Well now, that sounds like my partner," Miles chuckled.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"No, I'm serious!" he exclaimed. "Ok, so are you ready to talk?"

"Not really," he said. "Not yet anyway. It's all good. I have to get going anyway. I promised Clementine that I'd come to her dance class."

* * *

Sawyer drove over to where Clementine had her dancing classes. As he drove, he took the directions that he had printed off the computer, but as he drove, the drive suddenly seemed slightly familiar. He wasn't remembering anything about his life but he could remember only slightly taking this same drive before.

As he walked into the building he was greeted by several of the moms who were waiting in the hallway instead of in the viewing area. He figured most of them probably didn't want make their child nervous, or maybe their kid actually had asked them to leave. He went into the waiting area and saw Jack sitting and talking to one of the other mothers. He sat down next to Jack and smiled at the woman.

"James!" she exclaimed. "I heard about your accident, are you alright?"

"Just some bumps and bruises," he answered.

"And a broken foot I can see," she replied.

"It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt anymore," he told her. "So which one is yours?"

"James," she chuckled and shook her head. "You're hilarious."

"He's lost his memory," Jack told her quietly.

"What?" she asked. "Rachel didn't tell me that!"

"Well, I'm sure that Rachel didn't know that part," Jack chuckled. "I mean, I'm sure that Clementine doesn't even really get what's going on. We've been trying to be normal."

"I don't want to scare her," Sawyer answered softly. "I know it's weird, and it's probably really wrong, but…Clementine's been through enough. Having her daddy not remember her would be too much."

"You're a great dad James," she said. "I wish that my husband were as sensitive as you. Anyway. Rachel is mine. Long brown hair, in her face. Purple tutu."

"Why is everyone else in black?" he asked.

"Well," she sighed. "Rachel spilled some juice on hers right before dance class, so she had to wear one of her other leos."

"Leo?" Sawyer asked.

"Leotard," she answered. "You don't even remember the lingo? I mean do you know what they wear on their feet?"

"Ballet shoes?" he asked. She chuckled again and slapped her knee. He didn't think it was that funny, but apparently he had stand up comic in his future. Sawyer looked back out the window to watch the girls. They were doing some basic ballet moves. Sawyer was sure it was nothing too hard, but he was also sure that he would never look as graceful as 5-8 year olds. Finally the ballet teacher turned her head and Sawyer recognized her immediately. She saw Sawyer through the window and smiled and waved. Clementine started jumping up and down and waved Sawyer toward them. The teacher scolded her gently, and Clementine stopped moving and started doing what she was supposed to do. Sawyer watched the whole ballet class. Anyone would have thought that it would have been extremely boring. Watching them do the same inane moves over and over again. There was one more exciting part when a little blonde girl kicked another girl in the head while trying to do some leg trick. Sawyer had suppressed his laughter as "Rachel's mom" (Sawyer had never gotten _her _name), gasped and almost went to help, but the girl had gotten up and wasn't even crying. Sawyer was shocked, and then he didn't feel so bad for laughing. When the class was over, Sawyer found that he hadn't once gotten bored watching Clementine. She was good. It seemed that Clementine was pretty much good at anything she did. He got up and went into the room. Clementine ran toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Careful," he chuckled, wobbling slightly on his crutches.

"You came!" she exclaimed.

"I told you I would," he reminded her. "I wouldn't let you down."

"Miss Shannon wanted to tell you something!" Clementine exclaimed. "Guess what?"

"What?" Sawyer asked, trying to act excited.

"Tell Miss Shannon!" Clementine said.

"Oh!" she started. "Yeah. Mr. Ford, thank you so much for saving my brother. He hasn't stopped talking about it. He's eternally grateful."

"Oh right," he nodded. "No problem. I mean, the dude had a knife. I'm a cop. I had to do something."

"Wait, you don't seem very surprised that it was my brother," she said. "Do you know him? I mean-"

"No!" he exclaimed. "I mean, yeah! Wow. What a small world. That's-"

"Ok, you can bring it back down to about a 4," she chuckled. "So how did you know it was my brother…I teach kids, you can't fool me Mr. Ford."

"Well, he looked like you," Sawyer shrugged.

"Nice try, but Boone is my step brother," she said. "No blood ties, he doesn't look a thing like me. You wanna try another lie? Or do you want to try the truth?"

"Hmm," he said. "Well, I'm sure he's come here before, I mean right? I've probably met him. Like when your car broke down that one time."

Sawyer was hoping that her car _had _in fact broken down before. But he wasn't even sure that Boone would even come here to come pick her up. She seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't argue further. He was sure that she was still suspicious but thankfully she wouldn't call him a liar in front of Clementine. It was starting to piss him off that everyone else was coming back into his life, with the exception of Kate. Where was she? Why was she so hard to find? Sawyer was sure it was because she changed her name so often. She had once told him about all her aliases. He would start with Lucy Markum tomorrow.

"Daddy, you should invite Miss Shannon to dinner again," Clementine said.

"Oh, uh, maybe another time," Sawyer stated, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. What did Clementine mean? Maybe she just came over for dinner once, and just because it was Clementine's dance teacher. He wasn't a disgusting womanizer in this reality. Sure Cassidy still existed, but maybe he didn't con her. He didn't know what to think. He decided he would google himself when he got home. But first he would start asking questions to Clementine and Jack.

"Aw, don't blush," Shannon chuckled. She had noticed. And was she flirting? She shoved him playfully and gave him another smile. He rubbed the back of his head and then took Clementine's hand. "James…you have really pretty eyes."

"Thanks," he murmured. She looked down at the ground and smiled again.

"See you next week," she said.

"Next week," he nodded. They left the room, and Jack followed them out to the car.

"Everything alright?" Jack asked. "Well, ok, that's a dumb question, but, I mean-"

"I'm gonna have to talk to you when we get back home," Sawyer answered.

"Alright," he said. "I'm not in trouble am I?"

"Not you," Sawyer mumbled. "But maybe me."

"Well alright," Jack stated. "How about this? I'll go to the store and come back and make my famous spaghetti sauce for Miss Clementine!"

"Yeah!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Ok, but hurry, because-"

"You need to talk, I get it," he answered. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Sawyer drove Clementine back home. He decided that he would try to talk to her about it as well.

"Clem," he began. "Does Miss Shannon come over a lot?"

"Sort of," she nodded. "But a long time ago."

"Oh," he replied. "Does she ever spend the night?"

"Yep," Clementine answered. Sawyer groaned softly. He rubbed his face and then waited for Jack to come back. He would get more information when Jack got there.

Jack came another hour later. Sawyer was sitting, reading with Clementine. She was reading aloud and he was helping her with the words she didn't know. He refused, however to actually tell her what the words said, and forced her to sound them out.

"You're doing such a good job," Sawyer told her. She giggled and looked at him. She continued reading out loud, but softly. There was a knock on the door and the door opened before Sawyer could even get up to try and answer the door.

"Hey, we're here!" Jack exclaimed. Sawyer heard him say _we're. _He didn't really pay attention to it. He looked over at the door and saw Juliet coming into the house too. He got up and walked toward them.

"Hey," Sawyer said. He kissed Juliet on the cheek and she chuckled softly. He looked at Jack and then shook his head. "Where have you been?"

"I told you, I had to go shopping," Jack replied. "And I decided to bring Juliet along with me. She wanted to come over and see Clementine. So...you wanted to talk to me about something? Something important?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Come on."

Jack and Sawyer walked down the hall, but didn't go into any of the bedrooms. Sawyer sighed again and looked at Jack.

"So," he started. "Uh, Clementine said something about Shannon spending time here? Spending the night and things? And since I remember nothing of my life…am I sleeping with her?"

"James, she's a kid," Jack chuckled.

"OK, but she knows whether or not someone spends the night," Sawyer answered.

"Not Clementine," Jack began. "Shannon. She's like 23. You wouldn't be sleeping with someone that young."

"Well!" he exclaimed. "I don't know! I mean, Clementine was all excited about her coming and spending the night. I was just making sure."

"Well, I guess I can't be totally and completely sure," Jack laughed again. "But I'm pretty sure not. I mean, Shannon babysits sometimes. So that's probably what Clem means."

"But spending the night?" Sawyer asked. "I mean, why would Clementine say that if it weren't true?"

"Well, you sometimes spend the night at the office and probably have a babysitter for Clementine, or at least I hope you'd have a babysitter," he answered. "Trust me, I don't think you're sleeping with her."

"I don't have a girlfriend or anything who I'm neglecting right now do I?" Sawyer asked with a slight smirk.

"No," Jack responded. "You really haven't done much dating at all since you got custody of Clementine, and that was nearly 5 years ago. I mean, sure you've had dates here and there, but nothing serious. I think most women sort of get scared that you're a dad. I mean, they think it's sexy, but then they realize that they don't really want to raise some other woman's child. And they don't want the drama with Cassidy. And quite honestly, you haven't really met anyone worth it anyway."

"Good," Sawyer murmured. "Ok, we should get back. Juliet and Clementine will be wondering where we are."

When Sawyer walked back into the living room, Clementine and Juliet were sitting and reading. Juliet seemed very glad and excited about Clementine's reading.

"She's gotten better," Juliet told Sawyer. Juliet ran her hand over the back of Clementine's head. Sawyer felt his heart jump into his throat. Seeing Juliet with his daughter was something he hadn't anticipated. He liked watching it. He realized that he still had all these feelings floating around. He loved Kate more than anything, but it hadn't meant that he didn't find love with Juliet too.

The phone rang and brought Sawyer out of his daze. He even shook his head and looked at the phone. He picked it up. Juliet smiled at him. That damn smile. She used to smile at him that same way. He closed his eyes and answered.

"Hello?" he asked.

"James," Sayid began. "I have been stuck in this motel room for nearly 3 days. Are you ever going to tell me what's going on, and why you are keeping me here."

"Well, I'm keeping you there because I can't have you staying here with my 5 year old daughter," Sawyer answered.

"I love children," Sayid told him.

"Really not helping your case Falafel," he replied. "Anyway…what if I told you that I have found your soul mate. You can have true happiness."

"I would tell you that you are quite mistaken," Sayd answered. "My soul mate, you see, is dead. I will never have true happiness ever again."

"We'll see," Sawyer said. He hung up the phone. Sawyer always wanted to keep his walls up, but at heart he was really a romantic. He had been very well read. Read everything he could get his hands on from the time he was young, almost exactly like Clementine seemed. His favorite books, however were always the ones that ended happily ever after. Jane Austen had been one of his favorites. He would never let anyone else know that. He hated books that ended with the hero and heroine not being together. Romeo and Juliet had been ok because they died for each other, but it was the only tragedy he could think of that he actually liked. He believed in true love. He believed that people should be together. He had seen Sayid and Shannon's relationship blossom. Sure to their faces, he would make comments and make fun of them, but underneath he believed that they really deserved to be together and be happy. Especially after she died. Sawyer had been half dead himself when it happened, but he had seen the aftermath. He once caught Sayid crying, although Sayid would never admit to it. He would bring them back together in this universe.

Sawyer looked at Juliet. She wasn't looking at him anymore. She was looking behind him at Jack. She was smiling and her eyes were sparkling. Sawyer couldn't help but feel some jealousy, but then…just as suddenly as the jealousy started, he felt that it was truly what was meant to be. He watched Jack walk toward Juliet. He sat down next to her and took her hand. They looked at each other, and were whispering something that Sawyer couldn't quite hear. Juliet leaned forward and kissed Jack gently. She put her hand on his face, and then Clementine ruined the moment. She jumped over to Juliet's lap.

"Yuck!" she exclaimed. "No kissing!"

Sawyer chuckled and walked toward them. He took Clementine off Juliet's lap. He sat down on the coffee table and kissed Clementine on the nose.

"No kissing daddy!" she chuckled.

"Oh yeah?" he asked. He started tickling her and then kissing her cheeks and blowing raspberries on her neck. She chuckled and pushed him away.

"Don't!" she exclaimed. He stopped and smiled at her. Even he was surprised with how completely natural it felt to hold Clementine on his lap. It had been less than a week since he was in this universe, but he was already feeling that Clementine was completely his.

"Daddy, can we go out for dinner tonight?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Uncle Jack is making spaghetti, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "Well get busy uncle Jack, I'm hungry!"

They all laughed, and Clementine seemed pleased with herself. Jack got up and Juliet followed him into the kitchen.

"So when's the wedding!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"5 Months," Juliet answered.

"What?" Sawyer asked, walking toward the kitchen.

"Well we've been planning it for a while. We already have a venue and everything, Jack just hadn't given me the ring yet."

"Yeah, so you better dust off your suit, because you're the best man," Jack told him.

"Oh," Sawyer nodded. "Do you think the one I wore to my dad's funeral would still fit?"

No one said anything. Sawyer was trying to get them to laugh or to lighten the mood, but apparently they didn't find it very funny. Sawyer took a deep breath and shook his head. "Sorry," he murmured.

"James," Juliet said stepping toward him. "It's just that you never talk about it. I guess we just sort of didn't-expect you to say anything. I mean, did you even go to your dad's funeral? After what he did to your mom?"

"Yeah," Sawyer answered. "Of course I went."

He wasn't sure he had actually gone or not. He looked at Jack and he was smiling weakly. Jack nodded at him and then looked at Juliet.

"We were both there," Jack told her and then looked to Sawyer. "Even though he was a son of a bitch, he was still your dad."

Sawyer nodded and looked down at Clementine, who had appeared behind them. She raised her arms up and Sawyer picked her up. He put her on his hip. She put her head on his shoulder.

"Daddy, is dinner ready yet?" she asked.

"Not yet baby," he said. "You hungry?"

"Yeah," she replied."You want some vegetables?" he asked.

"Eww!" she exclaimed. "No!"

Sawyer laughed and hobbled into the kitchen, still carrying Clementine.

"James, you're supposed to stay off your cast," Jack told him.

"Sorry," he said, but he didn't really listen. He set Clementine down on the kitchen counter. "Ok…what do you want to eat." "Cookies," she said.

"No cookies," he shook his head. "You want some grapes?"

"Ok," she replied. Sawyer handed her a bunch of grapes and lifted her off the counter.

"I talked to my mom about my dad," Sawyer murmured. "I guess it's why I brought it up. I've just been having these stupid dreams about it. I keep thinking about him. I still just want to know why. And I want to find the son of a bitch who's fault it was."

"Hate to break it to you James, but your dad-" Jack began.

"He did it because of him!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Because of Sawyer."

"Who?" Jack asked.

"Never mind," he sighed. "But eventually, I will find him."

"Oh, I know you will," Jack smirked. "You can find anyone if you have enough money."

**A/N: Reviews are awesome! Lemme know how it is. **


	7. Chapter 7

Sawyer hadn't given up on trying to find Kate, but instead he decided to use his time to try and find the real Sawyer. The story was still true. His mother had been with this other man. He had started to try and find him. He remembered his real name. Anthony Cooper. If he could find Locke first, maybe he could find Sawyer too. He walked up the steps to the house. He was slightly nervous. When he knocked on the door, a woman answered.

"May I help you?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Uh, yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Is…does John Locke live here?"

"Yes, but he's not home right now," she replied. "He's in the hospital."

"Oh," he said. "I'm sorry. Is everything alright? I mean-"

"Yeah," she began. "He's fine. He's having surgery on his back today. He probably won't be up for visitors, but can I help you with something?"

"Does he ever see his father?" Sawyer asked.

"Why?" she asked. "What do you want with Anthony?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Never mind."

Sawyer went back down the steps quickly. As he drove to the hospital a million things were running through his head. He didn't know what to think. If he went to the hospital it was entirely possible that Locke's father was already there. He would come face to face with Anthony Cooper yet again. He wouldn't even know what to say. This time he couldn't really be as angry, since his mom was alive and well. He thought about his mom. Suddenly he had a vision. Almost as if it were a memory, but he knew it couldn't be. He was 8 years old. He heard his parents yelling at each other. Then he heard his dad killing himself. But instead of staying under the bed like his mother told him to, he crawled out from underneath the bed. He knew his dad was dead, and he didn't want to see it. He ran into the kitchen and dialed 9-1-1. He heard the sirens and sat down next to his mother who was bleeding and unconscious. He can't remember the rest.

Sawyer came out of his daze. There was a pedestrian running across the street. Sawyer had to swerve to miss him…or her. He was running away from someone. Sawyer quickly got out of the car, almost as if it were instinct. He ran after the assailant down the alley. He caught up with the person and tackled them to the ground.

"Hey!" the voice exclaimed.

"What are you runnin' for?" Sawyer exclaimed. He spun the person around, and saw a familiar face.

* * *

Sawyer walked down the hall of the police station. He walked passed Miles, who quickly grabbed his arm and pushed him up against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Miles asked.

"I caught the guy," he replied. "I mean he was stealing. What did you want me to do?"

"Where's Clementine?" he asked him.

"I-she's at home," Sawyer answered. "She's with Juliet."

"Juliet is on call, so what happens when Juliet gets called into work?" Miles asked. "I mean, you promised man, that you would take care of Clementine."

"Come on, don't give me that," he scoffed. "I am taking care of her. I'm doing the best I can. And I love my daughter. You have to know that. I would do anything for her."

"I know," Miles sighed. "I'm sorry. I just-it's your day off, and you're back here."

"Let me take care of him ok?" Sawyer asked. "Then I'll head home. I promise."

Sawyer walked into the holding cell area. He sat down on the bench across from the prisoner.

"Well well well," Sawyer said. "Charles Lee Pace. So what were you doing stealing from that 5 and dime store?"

"Aren't you going to read me my rights?" Charlie asked.

"You were already read your rights Mr. Pace," Sawyer answered. "So, you wanna listen to me, or do you want to sit and rot here in this cell?"

"What do you want then?" Charlie asked.

"I want you to come with me," Sawyer answered.

"What?" he asked. "Why?"

"Because," he began. "I can help you."

"You arrested me," Charlie scoffed.

"Only because there were people nearby and I couldn't very well let you go or they would have known something was up," he said. "Listen. I'm going to get you out of this. I'm going to break you out of here. You're just going to come with me, but we have to go quickly, before they notice."

Sawyer drove Charlie out of the police station parking lot, praying that he wasn't seen. He drove to the motel. Charlie continued to ask questions. Sawyer tried to answer as much as he could without giving himself away.

"So where are we going?" Charlie asked.

"I'm dropping you off at a motel," Sawyer answered. "You're going to be going through some pretty heavy drug withdrawls and I can't have you around my daughter."

"I'm not going to go through withdrawls, mate," he said. "I can't do it. I have to-"

"You're going to get off the drugs, and you're going to get your life together _mate_," Sawyer interrupted. "And you're going to have a roommate so, you're not going to be able to leave to go get more of your drug."

Sawyer escorted Charlie into the motel room. Sayid was sitting on the bed watching TV. He looked up when the door opened.

"Finally!" he exclaimed.

"Actually," Sawyer sighed. "Sorry, I'm just giving you a roommate."

"What makes you think that you can just keep us here, like a couple of prisoners?" Charlie asked.

"The fact that if you do leave, eventually you'll get caught and go back to jail," Sawyer answered. "Now, you're just going to stay here for a few more days. I'm going to introduce you to a woman named Shannon. Ring a bell? At all?"

"No," Sayid replied. "Afraid not."

Sawyer's cell phone rang. He reached into his pocket and picked it up.

"James," Jack said. "Jules had to come here to the hospital. She brought Clem with her."

"Oh," Sawyer began. "Alright, well, I'll come right now."

"Wait," Jack stated. "First, can you do me this huge favor? Claire is coming in today. She wants to give birth in America…with her true family near her. Y'know, her mom…ok well maybe you don't know. Her mom's still in a coma, and the rest of her family…they don't really care. So she wants to be around me and my mom, and even you."

"Ok," Sawyer said, trying to play along.

"You don't remember do you?" Jack sighed. "Ok…Claire is my sister…well half sister. We found out a month ago right after dad died. She went back home to Australia, but now, she wants to come back and give birth here. So can you pick her up at the airport."

"Uh, sure," Sawyer answered. "But, uh, I'm not-"

"No James, you're not the dad," Jack chuckled. "You've got one kid. And a kid who probably misses you, so hurry it up."

"Should I bring Claire to the hospital, or take her to your house first?" Sawyer asked.

"Bring her to your house," Jack replied. "I'll bring Clem home."

"Thanks," he answered. "I'll be home soon."

Sawyer looked over at Charlie, who was shaking, and already going through his drug withdrawls. Sawyer rubbed his forehead.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Sawyer said. "I'll bring Shannon and maybe Claire too."

Sawyer went to the airport. Somehow he found it without trying too hard. He had been to LAX a few times. When he got there, he waited outside in the car. Then he saw the petit, but pregnant Claire coming toward his car. He got out to help her with her bags.

"James," Claire said softly. "Where's Jack?"

"He's at work," Sawyer answered. "But don't worry, he's gonna be at my house when we get there."

"Oh," she nodded. "Alright, well come here, gimme a hug."

He hugged her and smiled.

"You look-" he began.

"Huge," she interrupted. "I know. I feel like it gets bigger every day."

"Aw, don't worry, you're going to give birth pretty soon and then you'll get your figure back," he answered with a smile.

"Always the charmer," she smiled back. "So, it's only been a month, I know, but have you met anyone yet?"

"Almost," he chuckled. "I just have to find her."

"I have no idea what that means," she said. "Y'know…James, I always had a crush on you. I mean…when we were kids; I know I'm about 10 years too young for you, but…I just-I always thought you were really hot."

"Thanks?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, it's a compliment," she nodded. "I just-I guess I'm just really envious. Clementine has such a great daddy. You've been there since she was born. You've had custody since she was 1. I mean, she doesn't even remember her mom ever having her."

"Well, but she does because we have pictures," he told her. He wasn't even sure if he was telling the truth, but there had to be pictures of the day Clementine was born. He looked at Claire and smiled. "Claire, he's not worth it. He's a jackass."

"Who? Thomas?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Well, whoever did that to you. Any decent guy wouldn't run from his responsibilities."

Sawyer knew that he was inadvertently talking about himself, but Claire didn't know that. Claire only knew him as the perfect daddy.

"How old is she now?" Claire asked.

"Who Clem?" Sawyer said. "She's five. Well five and a half as she reminds me all the time."

"Got any pictures?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. Claire picked up his wallet, which was sitting in between the car seats. She flipped through pictures.

"She's beautiful," Claire whispered. "And that's what you didn't want me to see!"

She held up a picture of him and Clementine. It looked like they had just gotten done with a pie fight. Then that familiar feeling. He felt like he was having a flashback, but it almost felt like a dream.

Clementine was sitting next to Sawyer. It was her fifth birthday, which Sawyer somehow already knew. Jack came into the room and whispered into her ear. She hopped off of Sawyer's lap and left the room. When she came back, she was carrying a cream pie.

"Don't you dare Clementine Brianna," he said.

"I love you daddy," she said stepping toward him, still carrying the pie.

"I love you too, but you better-" he began, but before he could finish his sentence, Clementine pushed the pie into his face. She started giggling. "You asked for it!"

He picked her up and started kissing her cheeks, getting the pie filling all over her too. She giggled again.

Sawyer shook his head and came out of it.

"James!" Claire exclaimed. "The light is green."

"Oh, sorry," he murmured. He drove onward.

When he got to the house, he saw Jack's car in the driveway. He got out of the car, and helped Claire with her bags. He wondered if Juliet had come over too, but then he remembered that she was at the hospital. They went into the house and Clementine ran toward him. She was sobbing. Sawyer scooped her up and hugged her closely.

"Hey," he whispered. "What happened?"

"Mommy didn't come," she sobbed.

"Oh," he sighed. "Yeah, she was supposed to come and be with you today huh?"

"She doesn't love me," she answered. "So I hate her!"

"Oh," he shook his head. "Sweet pea, she loves you very much. It's because of me. It's all my fault, baby. She's just very mad at me ok?"

"Ok," she frowned. "But I don't like her anymore."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he whispered.

"Don't leave me daddy ok?" she asked.

"Never," he sighed. "Hon, do you remember Miss Claire?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Claire can I hold your baby?"

"Not yet," Claire chuckled. "We have to wait till he's born."

"Have you named him yet?" Jack asked, coming into the room and kissing Claire on the cheek.

"Not really," she shrugged. "I'm not even sure it's a boy. I guess I'm just hoping, or I think he is or something. Where's Juliet?"

"She's at the hospital," Jack answered. "She'll be over later."

"Daddy?" Clementine started. "Can Juliet be my new mommy?"

Sawyer sighed softly and carried her over to the couch. He sat down but kept Clementine on his lap. He kissed her on the forehead and shook his head.

"No," he said.

"Juliet-" Jack began.

"I got this doc," Sawyer answered. "Juliet isn't going to be your new mommy. But…Jack, and Juliet, and Claire, and Miles, and everyone loves you very very much, so you don't have to worry about ever having enough love ok?"

"Ok," she said rubbing her eyes.

"And I have new friends to introduce you to, you want to go tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed.

"I'm going to stay here," Claire said softly. "They…they want to take my mum off life support. I won't let them, but I don't think I'm going to stay there anymore. After the baby's born, I want to stay here in California."

"See?" Sawyer asked. "Then you'll have a new baby to play with and I'm sure he will love you very much too."

"What are you going to do the next time Cassidy wants to see her?" Claire whispered."Well," he murmured. "She's her mom. I'll let her, but I will be having a serious conversation with her. She can't keep coming in and out of her life. It's not fair."

Claire nodded. She looked at him and shook her head.

"I wish that the baby had a dad as good you," she whispered.

"Well, like I just told Clementine, she has a ton of people who care about her," he said. "So will your baby."

"Thanks," Claire smiled.

**A/N: Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Sawyer woke up earlier than normal. Clementine was still sleeping. Jack and Claire were supposed to come over, because Sawyer wanted to take Claire to see Charlie, although no one else knew about that. He was going to bring Clementine too because Clementine didn't want to be away from him anymore and he felt incredibly guilty about Cassidy "abandoning" her. She hadn't even called. He hadn't seen or spoken to Cassidy, even though he knew that she was somewhere in his life. He had seen several pictures of her. He was making breakfast for Clementine, but he made enough for Jack and Claire to have some too.

The doorbell rang. Sawyer went toward the door, but before he got there, Clementine ran in front of him, wearing her pajamas.

"Who's coming daddy?" she exclaimed.

"Uncle Jack," he replied. Clementine giggled and opened the door. Jack, Claire and Juliet were all standing on the front porch. Jack immediately stepped toward Clementine and picked her up.

"Hello," Jack said. "And how are you this morning?"

"Good," she said with another giggle.

"I made some breakfast," Sawyer said. "Come on in."

"Hey," Juliet smiled. "I found this picture. I thought maybe you would want it."

Juliet handed him a picture. He looked down at it and smirked. It was a picture of Sawyer and Juliet with Clementine as a tiny baby. Sawyer guessed that Jack probably took the picture. Sawyer was holding the baby and looking down at her. Juliet was looking at the camera, but her arm was around Sawyer. Sawyer only guessed that they were friends considering she was dating his best friend.

"I remember this," he lied. She shook her head and looked at him.

"Well," she whispered. "I just can't wait till we have little babies of our own."

She put her arm around Jack. He pulled her closer and kissed her lips.

"You'd be a great mom blondie," Sawyer said.

"What'd you say?" she asked. She closed her eyes and then opened them again.

"You ok?" Jack asked.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," she replied.

"You sure?" Sawyer asked, looking at her. She looked at him and then looked away and nodded. She walked into the kitchen and started serving the breakfast, even though it wasn't her breakfast to serve. Clementine sat down at her normal spot at the breakfast table.

"Juliet, daddy makes the best eggs," Clementine said.

"Well thank you Miss Clementine," Sawyer chuckled. "But uncle Jack probably makes even better."

"No," Juliet chuckled. "If there's one thing that Jack can't do, it's cook."

"Hmm, finally something I can beat you at," Sawyer said softly. He wasn't sure Jack heard him, but Jack didn't say anything. Juliet got up from the table and went into the bathroom. Sawyer looked down the hallway and went after her, without Jack really seeming to notice. When he went into the hall, Juliet pulled him into the bathroom.

"What's going on?" Sawyer asked.

"What's happening to me?" she whispered.

"What?" he scoffed. "I have no idea what you're-"

"I just had a-it was like déjà vu James," she said. "You were…we were standing in a kitchen together. We were-_we_ were together. And you told me that I would make a good mother. So tell me-"

"It's not time yet I don't think," he shook his head. "But when you're ready-"

"No," she shook her head. "Right now. Tell me!"

"It won't make any sense!" he exclaimed. "And you better hush your voice before Jack hears us and knows something's up."

"Something _is _up," she scoffed. "You better tell me…I have to get ready for work, and you're right. Jack will get suspicious, but tonight, I will get it out of you."

After everyone ate breakfast, Jack and Juliet left for work, but left Claire with Sawyer. Sawyer walked over to where Claire was sitting. She had her hands resting on her stomach.

"Hey, do you mind if we take a little field trip?" he asked.

"Sure, where are you taking me?" she asked.

"Well," he started. "It's sort of a surprise. Y'know, I want to introduce you to a couple of my friends."

"Friends that Jack and Juliet don't know?" she asked. "I mean, why are you being so weird. This isn't like you."

"I know," he sighed. "You'll understand eventually. Look…his name is Charlie. And…I know that you'll never understand this, but you once knew him. It was a lifetime ago."

"When we were kids you mean?" she asked.

"Kind of," he murmured. "Never mind, just trust me."

"Well, call me crazy, but I think I do," she chuckled.

Sawyer drove Claire and Clementine to the motel. When the car stopped, Clementine was the first to jump out of the car. Sawyer went over and helped Claire stand.

"I'm fine," she answered. "I'm feeling a little. I dunno. It's too early to have the baby."

"Are you having a contraction?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "I think I'm ok."

Sawyer walked them toward the door. He opened the door to the motel and escorted Clementine and Claire through the door.

"What?" Charlie asked. "What are you doing?"

"Charlie, this is Claire," Sawyer told him. "She's…I'm supposed to introduce the two of you."

"And what about Shannon?" Sayid asked.

"You remembered her name, that's a good sign," Sawyer replied.

"I only remembered it because I've been trying to think of who I could possibly know named Shannon," Sayid answered. They both looked over at Claire who was breathing deeply.

"You alright?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, I don't know," she answered.

"Oh," Charlie shook his head. "I can't do this. I can't deal with this James. Why did you-ok, so you're supposed to count right? One sugar plum fairy, two-"

Before Charlie finished his sentence he looked at Claire slightly in shock.

"Claire?" he asked.

"Oh my god," she breathed out sharply.

"You ok?" Sawyer asked, sitting down next to her.

"Charlie!" she exclaimed. "How did-Sawyer?"

"Silly Claire, daddy's name is James!" Clementine exclaimed.

"How did-" she began. "How-"

"I don't know," Sawyer shrugged. "It's a really long story, but you don't know how happy I am that I'm not alone in this anymore. For a while though, we're going to have to keep Charlie a secret, I mean, if you just show up with him, people are going to think something's up."

"Do you think that Juliet remembered something?" Claire asked. "Is that why she was so weirded out when you-"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I think she had some sort of memory, but she doesn't remember everything…not yet."

"Where's Kate?" Claire asked.

"I don't know, I'm trying to-I want to find her. I need to find her, before someone else does," he said. "I mean…what if-"

"What if she doesn't remember?" Charlie asked.

"Excuse me," Sayid began. "But does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on."

"Ooh!" Clementine exclaimed. "Daddy, he said a bad word."

"Sayid," Sawyer shrugged. "She's right. But…seriously, eventually you will remember everything. I promise. I just have to get Shannon here."

"Shannon?" Claire asked.

"Hopefully," Sawyer nodded. "She's Clementine's ballet teacher."

"So essentially, you've found everyone except for Kate?" Charlie chuckled. "Well, we'll help you find her. Right?"

"Yeah," Claire nodded.

"I think I better do it on my own," Sawyer answered. "I have a feeling she'll be caught any day now. I think she's here in LA. I thought I saw her on the day of my accident. I'm so close…I can…I have to find her."

"Do you know what she told me?" Charlie asked.

"Nope," Sawyer sighed.

"It was soon after you guys got back from being held captive," he began. "She told me that she didn't know what to do."

"About what?" Sawyer asked.

"She didn't know what to do about you," Charlie answered. "She was feeling herself falling in love with you, but she was so afraid that you would hurt her or the other way around."

"Well," he whispered. "Don't matter now…I just gotta find her. Claire, now that you have your memory back, you should probably come with me, I mean…if I return home without you, Jack will have my head."

"OK," she nodded. "But can I stay for a while? You can come pick me up later."

"Alright," he answered. "I'll be back before 5."

"OK," she smiled.

Sawyer left the motel, taking Clementine, but leaving Claire. Claire told him that she would try to explain things to Sayid, although both were sure that he wouldn't believe her anyway.

Sawyer was going back to his house, but Clementine begged him to stop at the book store. She had already finished the book that he had bought her last time. Sawyer was still feeling pretty guilty from dragging her to the motel, and also for not paying enough attention to her. He decided he would take her to the bookstore and then go home and search for Cassidy's number to find out why she didn't come to see Clementine.

They were in the store shopping around. Clementine went to a thicker book and picked it up.

"Daddy, will you help me read this one?" she asked. He took it from her.

"Of Mice and Men?" he chuckled. "Hmm, no, I think this one is too old for you. Maybe we can buy it and I'll let you read it when you get older."

"Why not now?" she asked.

"You're still too young," he responded. "But I promise, I'll let you read it some day. You'll probably have to read it for school actually."

"OK," she whined.

Sawyer and Clementine were walking back to their car, when suddenly a someone bumped into him and knocked him to the ground. "Daddy!" Clementine screamed.

"Do you have a car?" the woman asked. It was Kate. Sawyer shook his head, but then got up and nodded.

"Yeah, need a ride?" he asked.

"But-" Clementine began.

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Come on," he said. He grabbed her hand and ran toward the car. He opened the door for Kate, and then for Clementine. He got into the car himself and sped off. Clementine was still trying to buckle her seat belt.

"Daddy, slow down!" she exclaimed.

"It's ok honey," Sawyer answered.

"Slow down," Kate whispered. "You'll just draw attention. And I don't want you hurting your daughter on my account."

Sawyer couldn't believe that he was sitting next to her. He kept looking over at her. She had a scrape on her forehead. He reached in front of her into the glove box. She moved her legs to the side so he could open it. She smiled weakly at him and he handed her a towel that was in the glove box.

"What'd you do?" he murmured.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Yeah, I frequently tackle people to the ground and then beg for a ride when I've done nothing," he told her sarcastically.

"You look really familiar," she whispered. "I don't know why."

"I was just thinkin' the same thing," he smirked. She smiled at him again. When they got to his house, Sawyer escorted her into the house. He took care of the scrape on her forehead and then she looked at him.

"I can't stay here," she said. "I mean-"

She stopped and looked over at Clementine who was reading quietly. She looked like a small adult the way she carefully turned the pages.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I just had to get out, and somehow I trusted you."

"You can trust me Kate," he answered.

"Kate?" she asked. "I never told you my name. How did you-"

"I-uh, your picture is up at the police station," he responded. "I'm-I'm a cop."

"What?" she exclaimed. "Well, then I really can't stay. I can't-I have to go-"

"Freckles wait, you don't have to-"

"Freckles?" she asked. "No. This was a mistake. I've got to go. Thank you for taking care of my head."

She quickly left the house and Sawyer watched her run down the street. He sighed deeply and then looked at Clementine. Clementine put her book down and smiled at him.

"I liked her daddy, she was funny," Clementine answered. "Why did she leave?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I think she had to go do some errands."

"OK," she nodded. "Well, maybe we'll see her again."

"Maybe," Sawyer answered and smiled.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the continued reviews! :D **


	9. Chapter 9

Sawyer could hardly believe that Kate had been in his house, but she had left again. He shouldn't have told her he was a cop. He should have waited until after he had gained her trust. He was a good liar dammit, so why didn't he just lie to her.

He waited for Jack and Juliet to come back over, but he wasn't sure if they would come. He knew that he had freaked Juliet out. He wanted to explain, but he had no idea how he was supposed to explain something like that. The phone rang and Sawyer went to answer it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"James," Jack said softly.

"Yeah," he replied. "What's going on?"

"Um, can you come to the hospital?" he asked. "I know that you have Clementine and I know I can't even begin to ask this of you, but-can you…can you please-"

"Jack, what happened?" Sawyer questioned.

"Juliet," he sighed. "She collapsed. She-she's in surgery, and they won't talk to me, and I know I'm a doctor and I have to stay-but I just-"

"I'll be right there," Sawyer answered. He got Clementine into the car, and they drove to the hospital. Sawyer knew he had to keep his cool and not act like a lunatic. He still had to act like a concerned friend, instead of her lover.

When he arrived at the hospital, he really had no idea where to go. He knew she wouldn't be in the emergency room since it happened at the hospital. He immediately went to the front desk.

"Hi, can you…can you tell me where Dr. Jack Shephard is?" Sawyer asked.

"I have no idea who he is," the woman answered, not looking up from her book that she was reading.

"Well here's an idea," he began. He pulled the book from her hands and closed it, without saving her place in the book. "Why don't you page him? Or use your little computer to find it out!"

"Daddy," Clementine frowned. "Don't yell."

The woman smiled sweetly, but Sawyer guessed she was also being condescending. She picked up the phone and dialed several numbers. She spoke quietly into the receiver. Finally she looked up and sighed softly.

"Dr. Shephard is up on the third floor. He's waiting for his fiancee to come out of surgery," she answered.

"Thank you," Sawyer replied. "Now was that so hard?"

She grabbed the book back from him and smiled again. She opened the book and began reading again. Sawyer took Clementine's hand and went to the elevator. When he got to the right spot, he found Jack waiting with his head resting against his hand. It almost looked like he was starting to fall asleep. He sat down next to him.

"How's she doing?" Sawyer whispered.

"You know how she's doing," Jack chuckled and scoffed. "Y'know, we're supposed to be best friends. How the hell could you do this to me?"

"What?" Sawyer asked. "What the hell are you-"

"She woke up!" Jack exclaimed. "And the first person she asked for was you! You've been-"

"Whoa, Jack, it's not what you think," Sawyer interrupted. "Don't-"

"Really?" he scoffed. "It's not what I think? Well I think you've been sleeping with her!"

"Shh," Sawyer whispered. "Don't. Jack, don't do this. You don't know what you're talking about. Juliet loves you-"

"She wanted you," he murmured. "She's waiting for you to come. So go on in. Steal her away from me."

"I'm not in love with her Jack," he shook his head. "I'm in love with Kate. I care about Juliet, I don't want anything to happen to her, but she's all yours. She wants you. Not me."

Sawyer didn't wait for Jack to reply. He got up and went toward the room that Jack had gestured to. Juliet was awake, but she looked tired. He sat down next to her.

"Hey," Sawyer whispered.

"James?" she asked. "I remember. I remember everything. When I-when I collapsed, everything came back. I-it's supposed to be you…not Jack."

"No darlin'," he shook his head. "It was always Jack for you. You know that as well as I do."

"No," she sniffled. "James, don't say that. I-I love you so much."

"I love you too," he sighed deeply.

"But-" she began and then stopped.

"Tell me," he replied and ran his hand over her forehead. "Tell me sweetheart."

"I don't want to hurt Jack. Even though I remember our life…I didn't forget-I didn't forget that I'm engaged to Jack," she shook her head. "I love him so much. I don't-I don't know what to do James. Tell me what I should do."

"You should do what makes you happy," he told her. "Honey, Jack will make you so happy. Me? I can't make you happy."

"But we _were_ happy," Juliet said. "I mean…we were right?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "We were. You have to know that I loved you Julie. You know that right."

She nodded but stayed quiet.

"So now what?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I think…"

"I think I should stay with him," she interrupted. "I mean, life with Jack is easy."

"Life with this Jack is easy," he replied. "But the real Jack?"

"Maybe somehow I can bring out the real Jack," she chuckled. "I always wondered what it would be like. God, I can't believe I'm even telling you this."

"Aw, come on Juliet, we tell each other everything right?" he asked. "I used to talk about Kate, and I never made you say anything about Jack, so it's pay back time. Tell me."

She took his hand and shook her head slightly. She kept opening and closing her mouth as if about to say something. Oddly it was something that Sawyer had always found sexy about her. He smirked at her.

"You'll never tell me anything," he mumbled.

"The last thing I ever said to Jack was 'don't bleed to death'," she whispered. "I felt so guilty. I mean-I really-I loved him. And I didn't even tell him."

"Then tell him now Jules," he answered. "Just tell him. And you know that this Jack loves you back, so what's the worst that could happen?"

"You're right," she chuckled. "But first…before I give myself to him. Can I have one last kiss?"

He smirked at her and leaned forward. He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She ran her hands down his back like she used to. He backed away and then kissed her nose.

"Go find Kate," she whispered.

"Who's Kate?" Jack asked, entering the room. Neither of them knew how much of it he had seen or heard. But he went toward Juliet and kissed her on the forehead. He ran his hand down her face and neck.

"Just, someone I used to know," he answered.

"I've known you basically your entire life," Jack began. "I have no idea who she is. So who is she?"

"I did," he smirked. "But then I kinda let her know that I was a cop and she fled."

"Dumbass," she said. "Why the hell would you tell a fugitive that you were a cop?"

"I dunno," he sighed. "Because I'm a dumbass."

"Who is this person?" Jack asked. "A fugitive? Is it a new case?"

"She's a woman," Sawyer began. "Not a case."

"Just a woman?" Jack asked. "Or a woman you're in love with."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm in love with her."

"So you wanna tell me something?" he began. "If you're in love with some other woman. Some chick named Kate, why the hell are you making out with my fiancee?"

"Jack," Juliet whispered.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Don't try to protect him! Why were you kissing? And what the hell does 'one last kiss' mean anyway? Have you two been having an affair behind my back?"

"No," Juliet sighed. "God, of course not. What do you think of me."

"Jules," Sawyer sighed. "Think 'don't bleed to death'."

"Maybe," Juliet smiled. "You wanna give us some time?"

"Of course," he nodded. "I'll take Clementine home. You sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine," she answered. "I'm coming home later today."

"Ok," he said. He was going to kiss her on the cheek, but instead he smiled at her and left. As he turned to leave, Jack was throwing daggers at him.

"Jack," Sawyer began. "Come on. We've been friends forever dude. You'll understand everything, I promise. And I'm not sleeping with Juliet. I would never do that to you Jack."

"Yeah," Jack mumbled. "Whatever."

"Don't worry," Juliet answered. "I'll take care of it. Take Clem home. She shouldn't be here."

"Ok," Sawyer whispered. "You're right, as usual."

He left the room, knowing that Jack still didn't trust him, or Juliet. Clementine was sitting on the chairs waiting patiently. Sawyer held out his hand for her to take. She quickly ran toward him and grabbed his hand.

"Is Juliet ok?" she asked.

"Aw, of course she is hon," Sawyer answered.

"Daddy, can we stop by the castle on the way home?" she asked.

"What castle?" he said.

"Daddy, the play castle!" she exclaimed.

Sawyer had no idea what she was talking about. But instead of asking her again, he decided to just drive and maybe he would remember something. As they drove down the road, he drove past a school, and suddenly Clementine exclaimed.

"There daddy!"

It scared the crap out of him. He looked at her and stopped the car. He looked out the window and saw a large play structure made out of wood. It did look like a castle. He smiled at Clementine.

"Race you," he said. He got out of the car, and Clementine quickly got out too. She ran toward the play structure ahead of Sawyer. He let her win. She touched the play structure and giggled. "I win!" she exclaimed. He started following her through the playground. It was big enough for him to play too. They chased each other and went down the slide 30 times. Or at least it seemed like it to Sawyer. After they went down for what seemed like the 31st time. Sawyer sighed and looked at her.

"Can you play a little bit by yourself now?" he asked.

"Ok," she whined.

"I'll be right over there," Sawyer said, pointing to a bench. Clementine nodded, and then took off in another direction to play with some other kids. Sawyer smiled and then looked over and saw her. Kate was sitting nearby. She hadn't seen him. He didn't want to scare her off. So he walked over to where the bathrooms were. He watched Clementine, and then he saw Clementine fall. He started to go toward her, but instead, he watched Kate. Kate looked around, presumably looking for someone to go toward Clementine. Clementine had started standing up, but she was crying. Kate got up and ran toward her. Sawyer couldn't hear them.

"Honey are you ok?" Kate asked.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Where's my daddy?"

"I don't know," Kate whispered. She looked around again, and looked down at the scrapes on Clementine's knees. Kate knelt down on her own knees and looked her closer.

"You're alright," Kate said.

"No, I'm not," she shook her head.

"I don't know where your daddy is," Kate replied. "Do you want me to stay with you till we find him?"

"Yeah," Clementine ran toward them.

"Clem!" he exclaimed. He quickly picked her up and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't see you."

"Daddy," she cried. He looked at Kate.

"I think she's ok, just a little scared," Kate said.

"Are you going to run from me again?" he asked.

"What?" she scoffed. "What are you talking-"

"You ran out of my house the other day like you had seen a ghost. I'm a cop, but I ain't gonna arrest you," he replied. "So what'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything," she shook her head.

"Let's just try this whole thing again," he said. "Let me buy you ice cream or something."

"Ice cream?" she asked. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not 5 years old."

"I want some ice cream!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Come on Freckles," he replied. "After everything we've been through, I think we deserve something good."

She shook her head and looked at him.

"I'm getting the strangest déjà vu," she shook her head. "Ok. Fine. Let's get some ice cream."

"Maybe later I'll let you teach me how to feather my hair," he smiled. Kate didn't smile back. She more looked like she was confused. Sawyer didn't push it any further. He was going to do everything in his power to get her to remember.

They went to Sawyer's car, and he drove them to the nearest ice cream shop. Sawyer bought the ice cream and brought it back to the table where Kate and Clementine were sitting.

"Why do I feel like I know you?" Kate asked.

"Just one of those faces I guess," he smiled.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't think so. I mean, you're acting like you know me. Calling me Freckles an all? You know me don't you?"

"Long time ago Freckles," he answered. "You'd never believe me. But I do have an idea. Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?" she asked.

"I never," he replied with a smile.

"Am I supposed to know what that means?" she asked.

"It's a way to get to know each other," he replied. "Usually a drinking game, but since we got the little one, and no means of alcohol, I guess we'll have to improvise. So…if it's something you did, you lick, something you never did, you don't lick."

"Ok," she chuckled. "I don't get it."

"Learn by example," Sawyer continued. He wasn't sure why nothing was triggering anything with Kate. It didn't take this long for Claire and Charlie to recognize each other. "Never mind. It's stupid."

"Aw, come on," she said.

"Fine," he stated. "I know you've never been to college."

"Really?" she asked. "Well, you'd be wrong. I went for a semester."

"Alright," he nodded. "Then it's your turn."

"I've never had a kid," she said.

"Ok, this is silly," he shook his head. "Never mind, it didn't work."

"What didn't work?" she asked.

"It ain't important," he responded.

"Fine," she sighed. "Don't tell me."

"You really want to know?" he asked. "Yeah…we knew each other. We were never together, but we were definitely sleeping together. In a cage and then in a tent. I was in love with you, but you broke my heart. And then I jumped out of a helicopter to save your life! I told you to take care of my daughter."

"Me?" Clementine asked.

"Yes you darlin'," Sawyer answered gently. "But you're never going to remember so it doesn't matter."

"I don't remember that," she answered honestly. "I don't remember any of that. And I'm sorry if I missed it. But for some reason…I feel really…I'm just drawn to you. I want to know more. I want to come home with you, but it's impolite to invite yourself."

"Come," he nodded. "Come over. Stay for dinner."

"Ok," she smiled weakly.

They were sitting at the dinner table, and Kate kept staring at Sawyer. They talked. Got to know each other. Sawyer told her about what happened with his parents, but he told the tame version since Clementine was there. He also told the version where his mom lived. He didn't have the heart to tell Kate about what really happened. He didn't even have his original letter to Sawyer. He had some weird version where his dad was dead, but not his mom.

"I'm gonna put Clementine to bed, you wanna help?" he asked.

"Nah," she shook her head. "But I'll wait. We can say goodnight."

"Ok," he nodded. He took Clementine to her bedroom and read her a story, maybe a bit faster than normal, and kissed her goodnight. As he was leaving her room. Clementine stopped him.

"Daddy?" her voice said. "Kate's nice. I remember when she used to bring Aaron to play."

"What?" he asked. "I remember it," she replied. "But is it a secret?"

"Kind of baby," he nodded."You weren't there," she frowned."I know," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm-"

"I like this better. I like that you're here," she smiled.

"I like it too," he nodded. He walked back over to her and hugged her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and then kissed his cheek.

"I love you daddy," she said. He ran his hand down her hair and smiled.

"I love you too," he whispered.

He went back out to the living room. Kate was sitting with a photo album on her lap. She was smiling at the pictures. Then she looked up when she felt Sawyer watching her. She put the photo album down and stood up. She walked toward him and put her hands on his cheeks. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips. He kissed her back. He stepped forward and she stepped back toward the couch. She didn't even feel for it when he set her down. She backed away and breathed out sharply. She smiled at him and opened her mouth to kiss him again.

"Freckles," he whispered. "We shouldn't-"

"I know," she nodded. "But-I can't stop kissing you."

She kissed him again and then backed away and breathed out sharply. He looked at her wondering if she remembered something.

"I should probably leave," she whispered.

"Where are you gonna go?" he asked. "I mean, you don't have anywhere to go. What if you get caught by a cop who isn't so cool?"

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Where will I stay?" she asked. "I mean, I don't think it would be very appropriate if I-" "There's a spare bedroom," he answered. "I mean, if you really-you really don't remember anything do you?"

"No," she shook her head. "God I wish I did. If we were-"

"Lemme try one last thing," he said. He leaned toward her. She went to kiss him and he shook his head. He put his mouth next to her ear and whispered. "I have a daughter in Albuquerque. When you find her tell her I'm sorry."

He looked at her and she furrowed her eyebrows. He leaned toward her and kissed her lips. She backed away and looked at him.

"James," she whispered. "James."

She wrapped her arms around him.

**A/N: Probably one more chapter. Please review. **


	10. Chapter 10

Kate looked at him and shook her head.

"How did you find me?" she whispered.

"You found me darlin'," he told her and ran his hand over her cheek. "It's ok now. Everything's going to be ok."

"I died," she sniffled. "I died."

"You're ok now though baby," he whispered. "I gotcha."

She leaned against him and kissed his lips again.

"I love you," she whispered. He sighed and shook his head. "It's too late isn't it? Juliet…she's-"

"No," he shook his head. "Juliet is with Jack."

He pulled Kate closer. She leaned against his chest. And he ran his hands up and down her back.

"Daddy?" Clementine asked, coming into the room and rubbing her eyes.

"Hey Clementine," Kate smiled.

"Kate, do you remember too?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. She got up and picked up Clementine.

"I don't get it," Clementine said. "Why?"

"I don't know," Kate shook her head.

"Are you gonna stay?" she asked.

"I hope so," Sawyer answered and stood up. He walked toward Kate and put his arm around both of them. He took Clementine from Kate's arms and looked at Kate.

"I'll stay," she smiled again.

Sawyer took Clementine back to bed. When he went into the living room, Kate was looking at the photo album again. She looked up at him and shook her head.

"Do you remember your life with Clementine?" she asked.

"No," he sighed. "I wish I did. I remember bits and pieces, but mostly I just remember abandoning her. Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

"It's not your fault you don't remember," Kate answered.

"Yeah, but it is my fault that I didn't take care of her the way I should have," he sighed. "All Cassidy wanted was for me to write her a letter. Do something to let her know that I-that I existed. And I didn't do it."

"Yeah, but you-" Kate began.

"It doesn't matter!" he exclaimed. "I know what it's like to grow up with out a dad. And a mom. I know how it feels to-to feel like I don't matter. And I did that to my daughter."

"But you're here now," Kate whispered. "You're here James."

"I'm tired," he murmured. "I'm gonna go to bed. You coming with me?"

He reached out and took her hand. She followed him down the hall to his bedroom. He stepped out of the way so that Kate could walk through the door. She sat down on the bed and chuckled and sniffled. He sat down next to her.

"I don't have any clothes," she whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her.

"You won't need any," he shook his head. She chuckled again and put her hand against his cheek. She kissed him. He laid them down. She gasped softly and looked up at him. "You're beautiful."

She flipped over on top of him. He reached up and ran his hands down her body. She leaned back down. He wrapped his arms around her. He didn't kiss her again, or try to take her clothes off. He only held her tightly.

"Don't leave me," he whispered softly. "I lost you twice now, don't leave me. Don't leave me."

He continued, his voice getting softer and softer. She sighed and tightened her arms around him too and looked at him.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said. "Where am I gonna go? I'm here. It's ok. Shh."

He continued to whisper. She rolled off of him, but stayed close and put her head against his shoulder. She kissed his neck and moved to his cheek. He rolled toward her. He kissed her lips deeply. She breathed out, trying to get a deeper breath.

"Hey," she whispered. "I'm here James."

"I waited so long to kiss you," he sighed. "I missed you so much Freckles."

"I missed you too," she replied.

"Don't leave me," he said again. "You'll be here when I wake up right?"

"I won't leave, if you don't," she said.

"I guess we both sort of have some abandonment issues huh?" he asked.

"When it comes to each other?" she asked. "Probably."

"Well, trust me, I've waited 4 years to be with you," he said. "I'm not about to blow it now."

She smiled at him. He kept his arms around her. She moved closer to him. He started kissing her again. This time, Kate didn't stop him. He rolled over on top of her. As he leaned down to kiss her again, the phone rang. He sighed deeply and reached over to pick it up.

"Yeah," he answered.

"James?" Jack asked. "It's-it's me."

"Hi," Sawyer said. "What's going on? You still hate me? Well, just to clarify things. I found Kate, and I'm pretty sure she's going to be staying with me, so you don't have to worry about me-"

"I remember," Jack said. "Juliet-she-she said something, and it triggered-I remember."

"So now I suppose that you want to talk to Kate?" Sawyer asked.

"Not really," he answered. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love her. I care about her, but-I called to talk to you. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I even though I remember the time that we used to butt heads, I didn't forget that you're still my best friend."

"I haven't forgotten that either Jack," Sawyer replied. "I'm supposed to be your best man at your wedding. So what are we going to do about that whole thing?"

"I don't know," Jack answered. "I guess I'm gonna marry her. I love her."

"Good," he said. "I'm glad."

"We should all get together for dinner or something," Jack said.

"Well, Jack," Sawyer began. "We have dinner together once a week. I'm sure we'll all see each other again really soon."

**3 Months Later**

Kate walked up the steps to the church. Clementine was following her close. When she went into the church, she saw her friends. Sayid and Shannon were sitting together. Charlie and Claire. Claire had given birth and Charlie was holding Aaron. Every one was hugging each other. She smiled and waited. Then Jack and Sawyer both started walking toward her. She wrapped her arms around Jack first. He kissed her on the forehead.

"You ready?" she asked.

"I think," he nodded. She chuckled softly and then looked at Sawyer.

"How about you?" she smiled.

"Yup," he replied. "You?"

She sat down next to Clementine and watched. Sawyer and Jack stood next to each other. When the music started the people in the church stood up. She was wearing a white dress. She took Sawyer's hands and kissed him softly on the cheek. He let go of her hands and stepped aside and she took Jack's. Sawyer stayed standing next to him. The minister began speaking. Kate listened and was reminded of her own wedding. The wedding was short. When it was over, everyone went to the reception hall, which was a block down the road.

When Kate got there, Sawyer was waiting outside. She was holding Clementine's hand. Clementine ran up to Sawyer and jumped into his arms.

"Daddy, Juliet looked so pretty!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Yeah," he nodded. "You should go in and tell her."

Clementine went into the building. Sawyer stepped toward Kate and smiled. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. He kissed her back and pulled her closer.

"Hey," he whispered. She chuckled softly.

"Hi," she said. "Should we go inside?"

"Probably," he replied. "I can't really skip this part. I have to make the best man speech."

"Then let's go," she said.

He kissed her again and put his forehead against hers. She ran her hands down his arms and smiled at him.

"Kinda weird huh?" she asked.

"What?" he whispered.

"Watching them getting married," she said. "I mean, it was weird for me anyway. I never-I never thought I'd see Jack marrying Juliet."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well _I _was engaged to him James," she replied. "It was just-"

"So you're saying that you're jealous," he said. "You wished it was you? Well when the minister said 'speak now or forever hold your peace', why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"James, I'm not-" she started. Sawyer scoffed, and walked into the building without her. She followed him, and was going to go talk to him, but he was already sitting at the bridal table with Jack and Juliet. Clementine was sitting on his lap. Kate took a deep breath and sat down at a table by herself.

During the wedding reception, Kate didn't have the chance to go talk to Sawyer, until the music started. She was still sitting alone, but she felt him come up behind her. He put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him.

"You wanna dance?" he asked. She took his hand and they walked on to the dance floor with other dancing couples. He pulled her toward him and put his hand against her waist. She put her arms around his neck.

"I didn't-" she began."I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I just-part of me will wonder-"

"I just want an honest answer James," she said. "Didn't you think it was weird watching them get married. I mean, like it or not, you were going to ask her to marry you too. So for you to say that you felt nothing watching them get married, I think that's crap."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Ok, well, yeah, it was a little weird. But it doesn't mean-"

"That's what I was saying," she scoffed, but didn't raise her voice. "I didn't mean, I would have rather been up there, but come on, I just attended my ex-fiancee's wedding. How screwed up is that?"

Sawyer chuckled and shook his head. She ran her hand down his hair. He kept his hands against her waist. He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love our life," she told him. "I wouldn't change anything. Even the us being apart. It's what made me realize that I love you so much and I don't want to be apart from you ever again."

"We don't have to be apart," he shook his head. "I'm yours."

They stopped dancing, but instead were standing holding each other. Kate pressed her face against his neck. He sighed and continued running his hands up and down her back.

"I'm yours," she responded.

**THE END**


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